Why Giving Up On Dating Is Actually The Best Way To Improve Your Love Life
Is it just us, or do most of the dating advice articles, podcasts and inspirational Instagram accounts just seem so generic after a while? We've become tired of phrases such as, “Once you find true happiness within yourself, you will find love,” “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger” and “What's truly meant to be, will be.” (The list could go on forever.)
Sure, sometimes, we aren't “over” a guy. But is reading another article about how some random chick got over her ex and it was the best thing she ever accomplished really going to help? It couldn't hurt. But really, does it ever take away the pain and anxiety you're currently facing?
While we love writing and sharing our takes on the ever-complex world of love, does reading about other people's experiences really help? We sincerely hope so. But in the mean time, we're kind of over these kinds of sentiments. Some people have even made us take a little vacation from writing about all things dating-related.
We're currently both single AF. But in addition to that, we're over “the dating game.” We're even over discussing it. As happy as we are for Sarah in Florida for finally getting over her ex-boyfriend, it probably won't help us not think of ours at 10 pm on lonely Sunday nights.
So, where do you turn when you've gotten the same generic advice over and over, and you're just a single girl who's over it all? Well, speaking as two tormented souls in this likely small demographic, we have figured out a solution we're actually kind of excited about.
While this might seem like another advice-filled page we're currently ripping, we felt the need to share how we are going to fix our hatred toward romance. We have decided to take a time out, and to just “be” with our dating lives. Crazy idea, huh?
So, what does just “being” mean? Well, for starters, we aren't going to hope to “cure” our singleness. It's not that bad at all.
Secondly, we are not going to think too much about a text before we send it. We aren't going to play the “wait five hours to respond” game, and we sure as sh*t aren't going to change our ways and enter the world of dating apps.
We are no longer going to greatly fear the “Are you seeing anyone?” question. We have even come to the realization that being single AF until the age of 40 really doesn't sound all that bad anymore. As long as you have good friends, a successful career, means to travel and are happy, why would it be that bad to fly solo in the prime of your life?
Once we decided to (for lack of a better term) “give zero f*cks” about our dating lives, meeting men and the pressure-filled quest for "the one," we felt like a huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders. It is effing awesome.
We started to feel like we could go out for a night on the town without feeling the thirst for male attention, and without the “need” to scan the room for potential hotties and dates. Walking into a bar with only the hopes of finding seats and some delicious cocktails is probably the most refreshing thing we have done in a long time.
After spending several weeks giving zero f*cks, we feel like it has actually improved our dating prospects. Ironic much?
It seems that giving zero f*cks actually makes you a better, more attractive version of yourself to potentials because you no longer place extravagant expectations on the dating scene and your next potential date. You don't feel the need to force anything, and you don't remotely smell of desperation.
If you do happen to meet someone while you're on your quest for that perfect cocktail and seat at the bar, that's just lovely. But no matter how sexy or edgy this person may be, don't leave this meeting hoping that he or she is your next beau. Deep down, you really don't care if it works out or not.
You don't need this person to validate anything that you already know to be true about yourself. You're not in the throes of early date overanalyzing, game playing and reading into everything. You can just roll with it.
As young girls, we feel like everyone is on "a quest" to find a partner. But to be honest, after years of questing, girls' night out-ing and talking about everyone's relationships and breakups, it has become exhausting. Sometimes, you just need a time out from the good old world of love. Cheers to that.
Cheers to the nights where you don't text anyone except for members of your immediate family and your besties. You're also anxiety-free.
Cheers to the nights when you go out without worrying about finding the hottest outfit in order to get a date for the following week's work event. Here's to you, the lady who just gives zero f*cks about whether she gets any numbers while she's out, or whether she has any dates in the near future. You are a badass all on your own.