Why I Hope Someone Will Give Me A Chance At Love Someday
He will struggle at first.
But one day, someone — the man I’ve yet to meet -- will have the patience for me. He will have the courage to not only love my fragile, broken heart, but he will wait.
He will wait for me to open up and trust him with the little I have left, the pieces that have been broken and put back together a few different times.
He’ll know I’ll need time, and he’ll understand. He might hate it. He might want to give up. He might want to move on. But he won’t.
He’ll love the idea of me: the ambitious self-starter with all the love and support I can possibly give.
I’ll have dinner with his parents and take his little cousins shopping. I’ll play video games with his roommates and make pizza with his brother. I’ll help him with his work and lend my ear for listening.
On the other hand, he’ll accept the reality of me: the mood swings and quiet nights I’ll need to myself.
He’ll see my shy and insecure self at parties, and feel my terror when he asks me where I see myself in five years. He’ll see me in my zone, when I’m thinking too much about us, due to fears of getting hurt again.
I’ll be loud and annoying at times. I’ll be speechless and awkward at most.
He’ll laugh with me when I’m happy, and he’ll hold me close when I need support. Though he’ll want to show the entire world to me all at once, he’ll do it slowly but surely, until I feel comfortable. He’ll introduce me to the ones who matter most, and stay by my side when it gets to be too much.
He’ll be jealous of the ex-boyfriends. He’ll know why I gave so much, and question the little I got in return.
He’ll wonder if I love him as much as I loved them. He’ll see the hurt in my eyes and feel the jump in my heart when I think of those lost loves.
I’ll hide my fears from him, but he’ll know when to ask. He’ll push me until I come forward, and he’ll make me feel okay. He’ll have open arms when the tears can’t stop falling, and he’ll embrace the silence when I need it the most.
He won’t give me a timeline. He won't try to test me when he needs answers. He’ll tell me what’s on his mind, and give me the time I need to process it first.
He’ll let me pull out my journal and write down my thoughts to help me understand. He’ll want a conversation, but I’ll want some time alone.
He’ll see this is just who I am, and he’ll decide if this is what he wants.
One day, someone will give me a chance and see this was all worth it. That someone will show me why the others never worked out, and that someone will show me I can love again. That someone will give me the chance to be myself, without any fear.
He’ll accept me for who I am, but will always challenge me to be better. We’ll help each other grow into the couple we both want to be.
We’ll love, we’ll fight, we’ll cry, we’ll want to give up.
But we won’t because we both will be that someone who gave the other a chance.