Just Because It Takes You A While To Move On Doesn't Mean Something Is Wrong With You

by Emma Webster

To all the little ladies out there who never seem to move on from a relationship quickly enough, I feel you. I am you. And you know what? It’s okay; you’re not crazy and you’re not wrong.

There’s no allotted amount of time in which you should or should not be over someone. It differs from person to person and it differs relationship to relationship.

Sometimes it takes me all of a week to forget I was even involved with a guy, and sometimes months will pass and I’ll wonder why my mind won’t stop reeling over something that happened seasons ago.

Neither of those is an abnormal reaction to the end of a relationship and neither of those reactions makes a person weak, obsessive or naive. It's what makes a person a person.

Some people feel things more intensely than others. I feel things more intensely than others, and it’s taken me a long time to learn that that doesn't make me overly emotional or pathetic.

I know there are more important things in life than romantic relationships, but the point is that just because someone scolds me saying, “Just move on,” that doesn’t magically allow me to abruptly move on.

The fact that I’m not over you in a month doesn’t make me a lunatic, and it doesn’t mean I’m going to follow you home at night. It just means that sometimes when I can't sleep, I still really wish you were here.

Just because you only spent a month with someone doesn’t mean it should take you only a month to get over it. You are the only person who knows how you felt during that time, and you should be the only person who gets to decide how long it takes you to recover from those feelings.

We’ve all read enough "11 ways to get over your ex" articles at this point to know which tactics tend to work best, but sometimes throwing yourself into other aspects of your life and trying your hardest to move forward every day only goes so far.

Don’t feel inadequate when you’re walking down the street months after a breakup and you still feel a pang upon seeing someone who looks like your ex. You're not pitiful; you're just human.

I think it’s about time that every girl who takes longer than a few weeks to recuperate from a heartache stop being labeled as crazy, and I think it’s about time we allow everyone to feel what he or she needs to feel.

Cause you know what? All this dating and life stuff is tough, and as someone very wise told me recently, you don’t have to have feelings about your feelings. Let whatever happens in your life affect you however it may. Feel what you want afterwards and don’t be ashamed.

You don’t have to start feeling guilty that you’re feeling sad. That is just way too confusing and way too emotional for any average human being to handle.

With so many ridiculously complicated things in life, there should be some things that are simple. Your feelings are your feelings and nothing more, so just let them be. Let them run their course because they will run their course. Maybe it will take two months and maybe it will take a year, but it will happen.

Eventually it won’t matter how long it took to you get over that guy you dated that one summer. All that will matter is that you got over it, and you did your own way on your own time.

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