51 Ridiculous Thoughts Every Girl Has The First Time She Sleeps Over
So, things are going really well with this new guy. He doesn’t appear to be a serial killer, he matches his shoes to his belt and he has a close relationship with his family.
You’ve been on several dates and have enjoyed some very hot over-the-blouse-make-out action, and you’ve gathered a few things thus far. He’s a great kisser and seems to know his way around the female body, which, of course, has you asking: How will this new hottie be in the bedroom?
You’ve come to the inevitable threshold that presents itself at the beginning of every fresh relationship: It’s time for your first adult sleepover. It is time, my friend, for sex.
This can be very intimidating for a lady. So much is riding on this one night. If the sex is mediocre, you’re faced with the confusion of whether you want to continue seeing him; if it's terrible, you just wasted a number and two to three weeks of your life that you’ll never get back.
But if it’s mind-blowing, well, you’ve really hit the jackpot.
This is the time, the night, the systematic series of events that will lead you to one of two conclusions: "I want this guy to be my boyfriend," or "I don’t." There are plenty of fish in the sea, but no girl wants to feel like she's wasted her time.
There’s also a lot you’ll learn about your new beau when spending the night at his place for the first time. You’ll learn a lot about his habits, his taste in furniture, whether or not he reads and his style as a lover.
Here are 51 thoughts every girl has the first time she sleeps over:
1. Should I have worn heels to this?
2. Maybe I should have brought something... like a cake or a pie.
3. Is that too presumptuous?
4. I hope my bikini line isn’t still red from my wax yesterday.
5. This sh*t better be worth $50.
6. Wow, his place is pretty nice.
7. I’m glad he only has one roommate.
8. He definitely cleaned up because I was coming over. That’s a plus.
9. I think I have the same table from IKEA that my parents bought me.
10. Is he planning to feed me?
11. Oh, he wants pizza. Do I pretend I eat carbs now?
12. What is a healthy relationship if not built on a bed of lies?
13. Speaking of beds, I wonder how big his is?
14. It’s a queen. That will do.
15. OMG he has a cat.
16. I hate cats.
17. I told him his cat was adorable.
18. I didn’t bring pajamas.
19. I hope he’s cool with letting me borrow a shirt.
20. Aww, his college shirt is so big on me, it’s like a dress.
21. I hope he thinks I’m adorable in this.
22. Whoa, three orgasms.
23. You know what your girlfriends say: If he doesn’t go down, don’t keep him around.
24. I guess he can stick around.
25. My hair is a mess.
26. How much of the blanket is appropriate to take?
27. He’s going to realize really quickly that I starfish.
28. I don’t want to fall asleep before he does.
29. If he hears the way I snore, he’s never going to call me again.
30. I could not deal with wasting a number on this.
31. I really like this guy.
32. I woke up first.
33. Do I wait for him to wake up or make breakfast for us?
34. I’m bored just lying here.
35. Maybe I’ll just go find a book to read.
36. I’ve been awake for three hours and it’s noon.
37. Sh*t, I don’t have a toothbrush.
38. How bad is it to use his?
39. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, considering I willingly put his d*ck in my mouth last night.
40. F*ck it.
41. Oh good, he’s up.
42. I washed the dishes after breakfast and now what?
43. Are we spending the day together?
44. Maybe I should go home.
45. OK, awkwardly getting dressed.
46. I wish he’d ask me to stay, but I’m not about to say that.
47. I hope I dried his toothbrush well enough.
48. He’s walking me out.
49. Oh, he’s walking me all the way downstairs, that’s sweet.
50. He’s such a good kisser.
51. I wonder if he’ll call again.