This week we have Juliana* who was ghosted by the guy she'd been sort of seeing off and on.
I started talking to this guy in November of 2015. Life happens, so we didn't ever meet up until maybe May 2016, but we would talk often on the phone via text. He even helped me through my mom's cancer surgery. The first time we hung out, we spent, like, 24 hours together, and it just felt normal.
I was busy working over 60 hours a week at the time, so we didn't hang out again until July. Around July, I was recruited for a job on a cruise ship, where I would be gone for months at a time. Being single, pretty much losing my old job around the same time and assuming nothing was going anywhere with this guy, I decided to take the job on the cruise ship.
August came (background checks took forever, so I didn't start the job until September), and I saw this guy once and asked to see him one more time before I left. He agreed. We were back to texting almost every day, which was kind of making it hard to leave. I did leave, though, and while he was there for me during the stressful first few days, he eventually just kind of stopped answering me. We barely talked anymore. I didn't blame him, though. I was hundreds of miles away.
As it came time for me to come home on vacation, we started texting more, but we never made concrete plans for when I was home. He actually told me he needed time because he suffers from severe anxiety and depression, which I had known from the beginning. That being said, he asked me to hang out when I was home, and we did. We spent probably half of my three weeks at home together. I had to go back to work again, but this time, it was only for three weeks. Before I left, he gave me every season of a TV show we had started watching together on a flash drive because he knew I couldn't stream on the ship.
I went back to the ship excited about him and sad to leave him. Then, he pulled the same thing with barely texting me, but once again, I explained it away with me being so far away. Plus, we weren't an official couple, and I knew long distance can be hard, so I never brought it up.
We had a couple phone calls, but I didn't think much would happen when I was home the next time. After my three weeks away, he texted me to hang out while I was home again for a while. We actually spent a lot of time together the first two weeks I was home. I was even able to go over to his place one night when a close guy friend of mine really upset me. When the guy I had been seeing saw how upset I was, he called my friend and threatened to fight him. That same night, he told me he loved me, and I saw him again a couple of days later.
After that, we stopped seeing each other as much, but he was still calling me every night, and we would talk for two hours at a time. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago. I haven't talked to him in four days now. He just stopped answering both calls and texts out of the blue.
What do you guys make of all this?
I guess the biggest question, for me, is why this guy chose now of all times to ghost her. I mean, he had plenty of opportunities to casually fizzle out of her life when she was away on the cruise ship and would totally be expecting it.
But he had to wait until he told her he LOVED her and almost fought another guy for making her sad?! The timing just seems weird.
Maybe he felt like things were getting serious, and he just freaked out. That's honestly the only logical explanation I can think of.
But what do you guys make of this all? Do you see where he was coming from? Have you been in her shoes before? Whatever the case, I want to hear from you! Comment your thoughts below.
*Names have been changed.