There are 168 hours in a week. Before I started my shapewear company, I did some pretty important math. I figured if I slept seven hours a night and worked an 80-hour week, that would leave me with 39 free hours. That would be plenty of time to get my hair and nails done, get glossy (off with the sweats, on with the little black dress) and go on dates.
During the first year after I started my company, I devoted most of my hours to work. I'm a hardworking, success-focused woman, and it's what I had to do to get my company off the ground. However, I was smart enough to know there was a world outside of my e-commerce conversions. Detaching myself from screens and devices was a great way to remember that.
Whether I was in a power suit or mini dress, I learned a lot about balancing the babe with the boss while going out on dates:
1. Don't bring your “boss mentality” to the first date.
Many of you will be upset at me for saying this, but I speak from experience on this one. My power boss girlfriends will tell you the same thing: If you're bringing the same intensity on a date as you are in the office, you're going to intimidate most men.
Seriously, if you give him too much attitude, it's going to freak him out. Leave that attitude in the office, and leave your pitch there, too. He already knows how incredibly skilled and successful you are, so you don't have to try to prove it to him.
2. Don't talk business. Talk personal.
You never want to talk business with your date right away. If you treat someone you're interested in like an employee, investor or business partner, you'll end up with another employee, investor or business partner. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Open up about your personal life, and you'll find the SO you're really looking for.
3. Seek another alpha.
If you're a CEO (or even a CEO-in-training), chances are, you're going to do better as an alpha looking for another alpha. Why? Because when you get home from work, you can really live the dream and not feel like you have to be in charge anymore.
Therefore, when you're on a date, ensure that your potential partner understands there can be two alphas in the relationship and that you're willing to compromise. He'll see right away you're strong and secure by the way you carry yourself. It will be a turnoff to another alpha if you're both having a power struggle at the dinner table.
He'll already know you're a strong, independent woman, so you don't have to bring the boardroom into the bedroom. Try to let down your guard and have some chill time, even though it won't be easy at first. I know the struggle of balancing charm and street smarts, but think about it: After a long day, what are you looking for on a date? Most women (myself included) enjoy relaxing.
The point is, enjoy the company. Don't feel the need to compete or one-up your date in any way. It's not a job interview, so relax and have fun.
You are complex. All human beings are, so own your spectrum and your versatility. Find balance within yourself, and ultimately, you'll find balance in a relationship. Now, go forth and Tinder on.