Why You Shouldn't Regret Having (Or Not Having) Sex On The First Date

by Allie Bukatman

Does falling into bed with someone too soon immediately disqualify you from being girlfriend material? According to the unofficial rules of dating, the answer is yes.

However, in this day and age, does doing so have any effect on the future of your relationship? Personally, I don’t think so.

Generation-Y: where new options are just one right-swipe away. This may as well be our slogan. Our generation lives fast and breaks rules.

We're all about being free-spirited and living in the moment. So, why wouldn’t we be getting down to the nitty-gritty after just one date?

Sex is an important component of a successful relationship and the sooner you figure out whether you’re sexually compatible, the better. It’s definitely not something to be ashamed of.

Some may throw old-fashioned dating clichés in your face, like, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Don’t listen to them. Throwing old-school dating advice in your face is exactly that: old-school. These phrases only produce feelings of anxiety about something completely normal -- sex and dating.

Recently, I went on an amazing first date. He wined and dined me; we had a great conversation, shared a few laughs and afterwards, we did the deed. When I woke up the next morning, I didn't feel bad about myself. In fact, I felt happy we did it.

I think we developed a connection, and there was no longer that undeniable sexual tension palpable in the air.

I don’t believe in wasting anyone’s time. Why wait weeks to find out if there’s compatibility? If it existed, it would still be there on the next date, even after the deed transpired. In fact, it should only be heightened thereafter.

There are plenty of relationship milestones available to hit, so sex doesn’t have to be one of them. In my personal situation, sex on the first date didn’t ruin our future; we are still seeing each other.

Men are simple creatures. Very rarely will you find a guy who loses interest because you “gave it up too soon.” In fact, this should keep him coming back for more.

In the long history of this planet, there has never been a man to say, “She’s smart; she’s sweet; she’s into 'The Walking Dead,' but it’ll never work because we hooked up on the first date.”

If there’s chemistry, there’s chemistry. It doesn’t matter if you hook up on the first date or the 20th date. If the moment feels right, why not just take the leap and go for it? Sleeping together does not cancel out the chance for a relationship.

It doesn’t negatively affect your “worth” as a woman, and men certainly do not lose respect for you if you choose to get busy on date one.

We’re so caught up worrying about being slut-shamed and analyzing how our friends will react that we don’t listen to our personal desires.

What do WE want?

I am not suggesting you should sleep with someone on the first date, and I’m not arguing that by doing so, you’ll magically fall in head-over-heels love, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. Rather, it’s all about how you feel, in the moment.

You make the decision, no one else does. There are plenty of reasons to wait -- religious or moral reasons, you’re not feeling it, he’s giving off weird vibes, you think he might stalk you afterward, etc. All I’m saying is if you want to hook up with him, hook up with him.

Start getting busy, ladies!