Getting your heart broken is one of the worst feelings in the world, and you can’t think it away.
It’s a brutally painful process you just have to endure until you fully heal from it.
I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreak, so here are some tips to help you get through it:
1. As hard as it is to let go, it’s seriously the only thing you can do.
Even if the two of you do work it out someday, the only thing you can do right now is focus on yourself and not try to hold onto something that wasn’t working anyway.
If the two of you are meant to be, it’ll just happen. Don’t ever fight for someone who isn’t willing to fight for you.
2. When going through a breakup, most people try to distract themselves so they don’t have to feel the pain.
Feeling the pain is part of what allows you to move on. It’s okay to do healthy things to remind yourself that you can be happy on your own, but doing things like drinking, having random, sex and smoking will only delay the grieving process.
This doesn’t mean you have to wallow in your own pity party. You can realize that things are for the best while also allowing yourself to truly grieve.
3. When we are in the middle of heartbreak, it’s easy to convince ourselves that we will never love again.
You have to remind yourself that you will eventually move on. Think about your past heartbreaks and remember how you made it out okay. Time truly does heal all.
And, don’t put a time limit on the healing process. It can take a week or many years. Trust the process and be kind to yourself.
4. Remember how many people are truly out there in the world.
This goes hand-in-hand with number three. It’s easy to forget when we are heartbroken.
Some people are meant to come into your life to show you something about yourself and then leave. When you are ready to move on, you will know so much more about what it is you are looking for in a partner.
5. It is really important not to dwell on the past.
Another thing many of us do is look back and think of things we could have done differently in the relationship. All you can do is be yourself and try your best.
Holding your tongue in a relationship is always a terrible feeling, not to mention, no way to live.
If you two couldn’t work while being yourselves, then it’s best to move on and eventually find someone around whom you can be yourself.
It would be way more painful to stay in a relationship where you have to suppress yourself. It’s better to lose someone than to lose yourself.
6. Now that you have so much more energy, give it to yourself.
Think of it like you are now dating yourself. Do nice things that feel good. Go get a massage, go to the movies, eat good food, get a new vibrator, etc.
Get reacquainted with yourself! And, be happy that you are such a wonderful date.
7. It’s super easy to blame yourself for what went wrong. Try really hard not to fall into that trap.
Often, it’s no ones “fault" that things ended. It’s just that the two of you weren’t compatible.
Often, what makes one person feel free makes the other feel insecure. And, what makes one person feel secure makes the other feel trapped.
That’s okay; it just means that you will find someone else who can fulfill your needs. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be.
8. If you can, try to be thankful for what your ex taught you.
This can be hard if you’re still in the angry stage, which is fine.
Feel angry if that’s what you’re feeling, but once it subsides, try to remember that even if your ex was a jerk, he or she still showed you so many things about yourself, including about what you aren’t willing to compromise.
9. Just because you didn’t work with this one person doesn’t mean you won’t work with someone else.
Another thing people often try to convince themselves they are “undateable.” I mean, if Kanye West can find a life partner, anyone can.