The Five Worst Kinds Of Wingmen

by Sean Levinson

Wingmen play a crucial role in the event of a couple of guys trying to make the most out of a night on the town. It's safe to say that talking to girls seems a lot less like an obstacle when you have a friend with you to make sure the desired girl stays focused on all of your strong points during the conversation.

A good wingman needs to be there to divert any symptoms of awkwardness in addition to inserting himself into the situation to make sure the verbal game is upbeat and flowing smoothly. However, some guys just simply don't understand their wingman duties along with how important their help is to their friend's mission at bay.

There's nothing worse than having an endless supply of women to talk to and knowing you're going to have to handle it all on your own because you have discovered that your partner in crime for the night is in fact, a bad wingman. A bad wingman has the unmistakable talent of being able to of repulse women with his immaturity and lack of moral fiber.

That being said, this list will comprise of some of the most careless, irresponsible things things your buddy can do to the probability of you taking home a girl. These are the worst kinds of wingmen that you hopefully won't ever have to experience.

1. The Embarrassing One

This is the guy that tells the most embarrassing stories of when you made a fool of yourself to the girl you're trying to impress. Attempting to assure a girl that you are the classiest thing since sliced bread could not be harder to accomplish now that she has just heard about how you once threw up all over a bar stool, made out with some hedgehog looking thing the previous night or got up onto a table and danced to "Thriller" before getting thrown out for peeing on the bartender.

She doesn't need to hear about some humiliating family story or what a loser you used to be in high school, this is actually the polar opposite of what your wingman should be telling this girl. She's not going to laugh about how funny you are, she's just going to wonder what kind of person brings such a terrible friend out to a bar with them.

2. The Creepy One

This fellow has for some reason taken it upon himself to deliver the sketchiest compliments and remarks that would ascertain any girl that you are in fact a stalker of epic proportion. He creepily stares at the girl you're talking to, noticeably checking out her body in the process.

He then tells the girl you're hitting on that that you've been staring at her from the corner of the bar for the last twenty minutes or that you always like girls with purple dresses and black hair or worst of all, that you've been following her around the whole night.

She doesn't think your romantic, she just thinks you're a creep who she now cannot wait to get away from. Not only have you discovered that your friend is not out for your best intentions, but that he's also probably never taken a girl home with him in his life if that's what he thinks any female with a TV or internet access likes to hear.

3. The Bad Dancer

How much does it suck when your wingman can't dance!? It's hard to convey a smooth image when the guy you're associating with is making an ass out of himself on the dance floor right next to you. If her attention isn't focused on you but the guy who looks like he's never danced with a girl before, your chances of making the desired subject think you're a classy, well-put together individual decrease severely.

No girl wants to spend time with someone whose friend is trying to feel up the lady he's dancing with while attempting to move like a male stripper at the same time. You simply should not give the girl your friend is trying to hook up with anything to make fun of or get skeeved out by, including your own drunken, uncoordinated behavior.

4. The Mute

We get it, lots of girls are into the strong, silent type. This, however, doesn't mean that it's okay to look the farthest thing from enthused with the current social situation if a friend is trying to show a girl ow much of a joy to be around he is.

This is the guy who doesn't smile or show any emotion if he thinks a girl is evaluating the way he looks. A wingman is supposed to look like he's having fun to lighten the mood and show his buddy's prospective mate that he does indeed have enjoyable friends. Not involving yourself in the conversation is leaving your friend hanging when he's looking for some snappy comments to keep the verbal banter lively and interesting.

5. The Jealous Guy

This is the worst possible wingman on the face of the Earth. This is the guy who is jealous of the female his friend has come across and attracted into conversation and will now take it upon himself to make sure his buddy has just as miserable of a time at the bar as he is.

He purposely sulks once he's detected the possibility of someone besides himself scoring and acts as if somebody has died when his friend regretfully introduces him to the girl he's trying to take home. He will then proceed to bother his supposed friend and tell him he wants to leave whenever he senses that the deal is about to be sealed with the woman he wishes he was talking to himself.

Even worse, he might even be rude or nasty when he gets a chance to talk to her in an attempt to remind the girl that she is just an object and not someone who should be treated with respect. Any guy who goes out of his way to stop another man from taking home a girl (unless she is visibly unhealthy) is no one's friend. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to experience this double crossing bullshit before.

Notice how none of these categories include any traits that are remotely cheerful, excited or friendly. It's not hard to be a good wingman, you just have to put yourself in your buddies shoes, think about how you would want your friend to act in the company of a girl you are trying to impress.

Good things happen to good people, and if you put in an effort to make your friend's night out an ultimate success he will make sure the same happens to you the next chance he gets. Don't be a dick, don't be a downer, and most importantly, do not be inappropriate in the presence of your friend's prospective lady.