Lifetime’s portrayal of men as emotionally crippled Neanderthals when they react poorly to a woman’s tears is dishonest. Most men understand that crying is a healthy and natural emotional release.
We comprehend that when a loved one passes away or we break up with you or even when you lose something of sentimental value, tears can help cope with a loss that is difficult to verbalize.
What most men object to is the use of moist eyes to hijack a conversation. When an argument ensues between a man and woman, and a factual point is being debated, female tears are a cheap shot.
The merits of the man’s argument are instantly nullified. The woman has assumed the position of being the hurt or aggravated party. It appears that the person not sobbing has wronged the person sobbing, regardless of what actually occurred.
Sexism and misogyny still plague American society and skew the perceptions of many otherwise decent men. However, lots of men really do approach their lovers, girlfriends, and wives as equals. We yearn to engage in healthy adult relationships where disputes can be settled like grownups. Woman inappropriately blubbering like toddlers undermines this.
Arguably the most egregious example of the “sucker punch” cry, are the tears that stream down a woman’s face when she breaks up with her man. It is not that woman do not have the right to be sad even when she initiates a split. Break-ups can be, and often are, messy.
I am not claiming that woman do not have the “right” to be sad (you cannot tell someone that they should not feel something) even if they desire a separation. Rather the problem is that women, by emulating a child, use soggy-eyed warfare to emotionally dominant a conversation. Discourse is replaced with tears.
While break-ups may be the clearest example of how woman can truly cry for a conniving purpose, they are by no means the only example. Trivial fights between two adults can end in overblown hysteria because the woman decides to use the cry card. It is the female nuclear option, too often used to avoid simply apologizing.
There is a reason that children cry so much. As I stated earlier, crying is an appropriate response to emotional overload (e.g not being able to immediately process personal tragedy). Children, lacking fundamental logical understanding of how the world works, often feel overwhelmed and confused, thus explaining the frequent temper tantrums and moist cheeks of people in their younger years. Adult woman, on the other hand, should and most of the time do have the ability to process the world around them, and it is inappropriate to choose crying over rational adult discussion.
It is important to realize that not all women are guilty of behaving like bratty six-year olds to avoid honest discourse. This is not a sexist rant about the emotional underdevelopment of females. Many women do behave like adults and eschew crying to simply win an argument.
Likewise, I am sure there are some men out there who tear up unscrupulously. The Kleenex conundrum probably has more to do with how the sexes are socialized than biology. That being said, there is a reason that “the crying woman” and not “the sobbing man,” is a regular feature of the stand up comedy circuit. Woman seem to do the vast majority of tactical crying, probably because men who cry are usually beat up in high school.
It is inappropriate for mature professional woman to believe it is acceptable to respond to challenging scenarios with crying. It is at best immature and at its worst, manipulative.
Most men, or at the least the ones worth dating, are looking for fulfilling and committed relationships, in other words an actual partner. So do not blame us when we get annoyed when our significant other attempts to force us into the role of a pre-school teacher.
Max Manasevit | Elite.