The Truth About Finding "The One"

by Amanda Jo

I really do love the Internet. As much as I try to convince myself that it's an annoying waste of time, there truly are many valuable lessons to be learned here. One of my favorite things to debate and to discuss online is dating and love because there are so many diverse perspectives to absorb and appreciate.

How guys see things, how girls see things and why everyone believes they have or have not found the love of their lives.

One of the most common claims I see online about love is people saying "When you know, you just know." And to be honest, I couldn't disagree more. Now of course, I have yet to ever feel this with someone, but I have seen 95% of my friends think that they have found the one, all to then break up with "the one." Marriages turned to divorces, boyfriends into exes and I am left here thinking wait, what just happened? I thought he was "the one"?

My parents have been married for over thirty years now and guess what, my mom had no clue my dad was "the one" until several years into it. They actually broke up for over six months before my mom went running back.

My dad has stuck by her side since the day that they've met, through thick and thin, and if she would have lived by the statement "when you know, you just know," things would have turned out much differently for them both. Instead of giving up when things got boring, rough or hectic, they pushed through things, together.

People say all these cliché things about love, but how much of it is even true? Most of the people claiming they found the one, haven't even been with their "one" for more than a short time. Sure you can have a great connection with a person, but will this person really be by your side through it all? Through thick and thin? Through the good and the bad? When you're old and grey? How do you genuinely know someone is the one? This is when the Internet and its lessons came in handy. While browsing on Facebook today, I came across this status that really got me thinking...

I've been told that you know someone is the one by just knowing. If you have to ask yourself if she is, then she isn't, and if two people are meant to be then they will be. All these fairytale statements about finding the love of your life, but I believe the best piece of advice I've gotten goes like this. You won't know if someone's the one until your last dying breath. When death is looking you in the eyes and you have that one last moment to reflect back on your life, you will then see who took that life journey with you. You will know without regret, that you wouldn't change your history together for anything. It's then, and only then, that you'll know she's the one. Until then, you go after her, you pursue her and you follow your heart, because the worst thing you can do is miss that once in a lifetime opportunity wishing you could get it back.

After I read that I cried a little inside because it's so simple... it makes perfect sense. True love isn't about finding "the one," it's about finding someone you have an amazing connection with that is down to stick it out with you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sad.

If you come across someone in your life that makes you happy, that makes you stronger, wiser, a better man... you don't let that go. Every girl is going to annoy you, nag at you to be healthier or to work harder, but she's only doing it because she wants the best for you.

If she makes you feel alive and makes your heart feel at home, you stay and you do whatever it takes to make it work because, like he said, there is no greater regret than letting your one, find another one, and in those last final moments wishing you could change it all.

Amanda | Elite.

To read more from Amanda, check out her website.

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