The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last And They Always Will

by Rina Magsombol

He hasn’t called you in a week, and the longest 15 minutes of your life was spent waiting on a text back from him. He bailed on you twice, two Fridays ago, and you’re thinking, perhaps, third times a charm?

He goes by the name of Derek. He’s built with that flawless, Tatum-meets-Gosling contour and he's undoubtingly high-in-demand. He says all the right things.

Although your eyes should roll with every smooth line he throws at you, you eat it up anyway. He’s all wrong for you, but you want him, nonetheless.

But did you notice Paul called you twice today, and you dodged both rings? Did you realize that your inbox fills up with enthralling text messages from him, on a regular basis? Don’t forget the flowers he brought you on your second date. Yeah, that guy. Oh, that’s right; he was never an option.

In the complex world of women, guys like Paul don’t stand a chance. The truth is, nice guys don’t offer women a challenge. They are boring, agreeable and easily attained. Women barely break a sweat with them. Men like Paul do not offer women the chase.

They lack the hard-to-get appeal and are always there, wrapped around a woman’s finger. Yes, it’s true: Women want the chase, they ache for the struggle and they thirst for the wonder.

So men, make women cry; ignore them. Douse them with your sadistic MOs, and you will find them hanging onto your every word, at your convenience. Apparently, if you’re the nice guy, your existence won’t even appear in her radar.

This seems to be the desire of the Gen-Y woman, yet, we often hear them say, “I just want a nice guy.” Sounds pretty hypocritical, eh? Women are wired to follow complexities.

A nice guy waltzes into a woman's life and she immediately leads him into the friend zone, no questions asked. However, when she stumbles upon the antithesis of that, she relentlessly finds herself at his feet, becoming what our dating society refers to as a “stage-five clinger,” or simply, "crazy."

Women are full of paradoxes. They are drowning in their own ambiguities; it’s in their nature. Women may say one thing, yet mean another. They have been living in a dimension where “I’m fine,” means “nothing is fine,” and the obvious answer is “do whatever you want to do." They religiously use this shield of passive aggressiveness as a defense mechanism.

With that being said, both men and women will continue to grow and learn about themselves after dating different people. Yes, this means women will outgrow the jerks. They will exhaust themselves from men buying them drinks at clubs and instead, pursue dreams of settling down and buying a house.

They will long for security and a nice guy to love them unconditionally, rather than one who leaves them tirelessly piecing together suspicious alibis. The lies will get old and so will the waiting.

Unfortunately, often times we don't know what's good for us until we've been exposed to what's bad for us. Women need to get their hearts broken and self-esteem perished once, twice or maybe three times to recognize what they deserve.

Thanks, jerks. Your emotionless charm and excessive lying serves to help women grow from being the naive girls they once were. You have paved the way for nice guys to finally get their shot. So really, it's true: Nice guys finish last, but they do, ahem, finish.

Perhaps, behind every jerk lies an ex-girlfriend who made him that way. The same may go for women who have nice men eating from the palm of their hands. We have all been a Derek at once point in our lives. And we’ve all been a doormat like Paul.

It’s a learning process and the partners we meet, love and leave have all become our teachers. At the end of the day, once you have had your time of being the jerk, you'll turn into the nice guy. You’ll be a keeper.

Nice guys finish last because they should finish last. Women must first practice on a rough draft before framing a masterpiece.

Photo via Favim