The 10 Things Every Guy Learned About Love From The 90s
Let's face it, gentlemen: Dating in the 21st century is not easy. The rise of infidelity, combined with the decline of monogamy makes the concept of "love" almost a pipe dream.
After much deductive reasoning, I have concluded that the reason relationships are what they are today has a lot to do with society's impact. Join me on a nostalgic walk down memory lane as we learn what growing up in the 90s taught guys about dating.
10. No Girl Is Out Of Your League
It's not often that we take love advice from a guy named Squints, but if there is one thing that can be taken away from his unlikely romance with Wendy the lifeguard, it is that no girl is out of your league. Thanks a lot, “Sandlot.”
9. Some Girls Are Out Of Your League
Okay, so maybe there are girls who play for the other team — Doris Murphy (Rosie O'Donnell) showed us that some girls are “In A League Of Their Own.” See what I did there?
8. You Can Find Love Online
Online dating has become an entirely different beast than it was in the 90s. In its earlier, more innocent days, you could find love in a cozy AOL chat room. Sadly striking up a flirty chat is no longer as simple as “A/S/L?”
7. Cheating Is Encouraged
Anyone who played video games in the 90s know what a GameShark is. But, this cleverly marketed "video game enhancer" was nothing more than a cheat cartridge. What is that renowned proverb, again? Oh yeah, "if you ain't cheating you ain't trying"
6. You're Probably Going To Waste Time And Money
Do you remember spending hours upon hours making these lanyard keychains only to realize that you didn't even have keys at that age, let alone enough for all of your creations?
Well, a hard fact about plenty of relationships that parallels to this is that you will spend a great deal of time, effort and money on something that’s ultimately nothing special.
5. Girls Love A Challenge
Thanks to the lovely cast of “Bring It On,” guys learned that girls love a challenge. And thanks to the ensuing sequels based loosely on the original, we have learned that Hollywood loves beating a dead horse.
4. Leave It Up To Fate
M.A.S.H was good for more than just time wasting and illogical fortune telling. It shows that sometimes, divine intervention has more influence than our own desires. No matter how badly you want to be with you crush, sometimes you’ll get stuck having 15 kids with a hobo.
3. Girls Have All The Control
Guys, the honest truth is that girls really do dictate most of the control in relationships. If Darcy Sears' whipped cream bikini proved anything in “Varsity Blues,” it’s that girls have the power.
2. Having A Big Head Is Inevitable
Some women claim that guys are egotistical, pompous, self-evolved, cocky and downright big-headed. Well, we are a product of our surroundings and as most guys will tell you, there was probably no game more influential or mind molding than NFL Blitz.
It seemed like no matter how many combinations of buttons you pressed on the pregame screen, you always ended up in Big Head mode.
1. Girls Will Drive You Crazy
Girls are unsolvable puzzles and the stress that they catalyze can be so severe that it leads some men to brink of insanity. In 1999, some girl literally drove the lovable heartthrobs of 'N Sync to the loony bin for the song “Drive Myself Crazy.” Although, some say it had much to do with the chemical imbalance from all the hair dye.
Ladies, men are fickle creatures. We are products of our environments, and while I do not take pleasure in revealing the nature of our shortcomings, I do hope this has helped shed light on why some men are they way they are. This is, of course, not a definitive study, nor am I warranted to speak on behalf of every man. Take from this what you will and blame it on the 90s.
Top photo via The Sandlot