Living in New York, wealthy men are around every corner – thankfully, so are attractive single ladies. Due to the existence of both, you’re bound to come across a gold-digging whore. Granted, most ladies are concerned about your financial stability because they don’t want to waste their time with a slacker who is going to ruin their good credit score.
The difference between being financially concerned and a gold-digger is that a gold-digger wants you to provide for them financially, and would ultimately leave you if you lost this ability. They will bleed you dry and then move onto their next victim. So how do you discern if your lady friend is looking for a future with you, or your wallet? Here are some key signs to look for in a gold-digger.
Sizing Up your Assets The crux of every gold-digger is the question – how much are you worth? If in the first 5 minutes of your conversation, she has already inquired about your profession, your apartment, your car and your family heritage -- you have found yourself a classic gold-digger.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you’ve finally found yourself someone who is genuinely interested in your life – we all know that no woman can go 10 entire minutes without talking about herself. Gold-diggers pretend to be interested in you so they can size you up and measure your earnings potential – they’re a walking, talking calculator as every question that relates to money is being used to calculate exactly how much money she can swindle out of you.
Pay before you Play You’ve been on countless dates with her, yet she still won’t let it progress further than kissing. No matter how many times you attempt to redirect her head south, she won’t suck your cock, let alone welcome a friendly motorboat on those D cups.
What gives? Real gold-diggers won’t engage in any kind of physical activity unless given an incentive. You want a blowjob? Get ready to max out your credit card with jewelry, shoes or a new designer handbag.
The ‘pay before you play’ policy ensures you both get what you want – at a price. Gold-diggers are essentially glorified hookers, yet with no guarantee of skill level. You might as well invest your money with a professional.
Personal ATM Some gold-diggers will blatantly ask for gifts, using techniques like sulking or nagging until they get what they want. Others are quick to drop hints about their dire financial situation – how they can’t afford their rent, cell phone bill or car insurance. Yet – she is strutting around in a $4,000 Chanel bag and Manolos.
They will often position the financial assistance as a loan until things get better, despite the fact that there are no indications of them being financially dependent, as most gold-diggers don’t work. How can they when swindling money from suckers like yourself is already a 24/7 job?
Need to be Scene Gold-diggers only want to be taken to expensive, scene-y establishments and will turn their plastic noses up at any restaurant without at least one Michelin star. This is confusing since you know she grew up in a trailer park, so where did this appetite for luxury come from? When they visit these establishments, don’t think that they’ll be purely focused on you – they’re constantly on the prowl for someone richer than you to see what they can offer her.
Don’t even think about introducing the bitch to your boss – she’ll be sucking his cock in the bathroom in no time.
Rides Bareback If your girl doesn’t seem to be interested in making you wear a condom, she’s either stupid, or a gold-digger. By enticing you to ride her bareback, she is hoping for you to impregnate her and either end up your wife or sucking child support payments out of you, which she will probably spend on herself, for the next 18 years.
If you find yourself in the red after a few months of dating, or even considering taking out a personal loan to finance the bitch – it’s time to kiss that gold digging whore goodbye.