One of the benefits of being in a long-term relationship is that you have someone that you can readily depend on for regular sex. For guys especially, this is a very important part of a commitment to another person.
However, it is precisely when you start to expect sex from your girlfriend that she starts using that presumption against you. Some women make a habit of withholding sex from their partners, while some only do it under very specific circumstances. To men, this seems like cruel and unusual punishment.
Of course, there is a difference between a woman simply not wanting to have sex and purposefully withholding it. When a woman withholds sex, she's trying to send a message. Here are some of the reasons she might cut you off and what you can do about it.
She's pissed This is probably the most common reason that women withhold sex. If you've done something that made her furious, she may not be above punishing you by keeping the one thing you really, really want out of your reach.
The last thing a woman wants to do when she's feeling any kind of negative emotion, whether it's mad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, stressed, or worn out, is get busy between the sheets.
While many guys can turn off the unpleasant feelings and get down to business, a woman finds it more difficult to push those emotions aside and get aroused. You might be satisfied with angry, violent sex, but she wants to work out her angst before she jumps into bed.
The solution to this is to find out why she's upset and try to fix it. Sometimes simply acknowledging that you've done something wrong is enough to make her calm down. Other times, the only way to get out of the doghouse is to participate in one of those long, heartfelt conversations in which you share feelings.
She's asserting herself If she's keeping the good loving from you, it may be an attempt to assert her power over you and the relationship. If there's one area of a relationship women think they have control over, it's sex. She may just be doing it to show you who's boss in bed or she may be compensating for feeling powerless in some other aspect of her life. Maybe she has a cruel boss, a domineering best friend or an overprotective mother.
If you suspect that she's withholding sex to assert herself, the easiest way to get the carnal door open again is to compliment her sexual abilities and prowess. This may seem counterintuitive, but if you acknowledge how much you appreciate her in bed she may realize that trying to prove her status is unnecessary.
She's manipulating you Another reason women withhold sex is to get something out of you. When no other methods of getting what she wants are working, she might resort to revoking your sex privileges until you agree to what she's after. This will usually be a pretty big thing. Generally, she's not going to bother holding out on you in order to get you to take out the garbage.
The easiest way to get around this is to give her what she wants. If that's not a possibility, you'll have to appeal to her sense of reason. If that doesn't work, try giving her something similar to what she wants. If you can't make that happen, you might have to wait it out and service yourself until she comes to her senses.
She's bored She could be avoiding sex with you because she's not enjoying it. Some women are embarrassed by the idea of talking about sex with their partners, especially if there is a problem. So instead of telling you what's wrong, she might just close up shop.