It may have been one particular girl--or perhaps every girl since middle school, if you are consistently unlucky—but rejection happens to the best of us. In the moment, rejection puts a serious dent in your self-esteem. But, from a girl who knows, you should not take it personally.
There are only three steps to picking up a girl. And none of them have to do with who you are, what you look like, or what you say to the girl. Before you even open your mouth, you first have to master picking The Target, perfecting The Timing, and nailing The Approach. Once these three steps are successfully completed, you will no longer how to worry about the burn of instant rejection.
The Target If you are continuously getting rejected, the first mistake is most likely your target. First, as a basic rule of thumb, make sure going after women of an appropriate age. You may be most attracted to nineteen-year-olds, but that does not mean they will be into you. If you think you have found the perfect woman who has defied the laws of nature and hasn’t aged since high school, think again. She is most likely still in high school.
The proper target will be one of two people: the woman who you cannot stop looking at, or the woman who cannot stop looking at you. The first one, the woman who you cannot stop looking at, is a valiant target. As humans, we can tell who we are compatible with within seconds of seeing them. So if you have some courage, or liquid courage, go after the first woman who caught your eye.
Biology will tell you and her that it will work, at least for tonight. The second one, the woman who has been making eyes at you all night, is really looking at you. I promise you are not imagining it. She has been trying to draw you in. Go talk to her. She already knows what she wants.
The Timing There are certain times that are just inappropriate to try to pick up girls. To start, work is a very bad place to try to get girls. May it be an attractive coworker, stunner of a customer, or your boss, approaching women at work is never good. The woman will see you as unprofessional and wonder why you are paying attention to her and not the work you are getting paid (probably by her) to do.
Also, there are many types of women you should not attempt to hit on while they are on the job. Although not as taboo as coworkers, you should avoid trying to get with the likes of the working bartender, school teacher, severe weather reporter, or any other independent working women. Even though you might be casually exposed to these women in your daily life, they all take their jobs very seriously.
If you dare to make a move while they are working, you could risk hundreds of dollars of spilled alcohol, frightened schoolchildren, and delayed tornado warnings. Before you even get acquainted, the women will know you as the guy who got in her way.
Apart from avoiding professional settings, the timing is almost always right for you to make your move. This number one mistake most guys make when trying to pick up a girl is not taking action. If you are never able to pick up girls, maybe the real problem is that you are not actually trying.
The Approach Approaching a girl can be nerve-racking. After your spot the girl of your dreams, you typically only have a few moments to make a move. But your approach can make or break you before you even open your mouth. The best way to approach a woman is with a mutual acquaintance. The friend will make the introduction for you and help you to avoid looking like a creep. If you give a woman the ‘creeper vibe,’ you will be both rejected and publicly renounced as a creep.
However, not all conditions are ideal, and you do not always have a wingman to make the connection for you. In this case, it is up to you to quickly introduce yourself. But be very cautious, especially you tall men. While extra height is otherwise always a positive factor, the approach is the only time shorter men are at an advantage. It is very intimidating to suddenly have a large, unknown man beside you. It too closely resembles a robbery or attack.
The woman will be startled, quickly taking steps away from him. Start the conversation from a little farther away. Then when your target opens up, you can move slowly into a more intimate zone. The perfect approach can make you appear confident and funny. But the wrong approach will make you come across as a predator.
After these three conditions are fully mastered, you should have no excuse why you cannot ‘get girls.’ Successful completion of selecting The Target, choosing The Timing, and making The Approach will make you appear confident and experienced. Your female of choice will be at ease and have no reason to reject you instantly. However, once you open your mouth… Well, that is on you. Best of luck.
Christina Atterbury | Elite.