I have a serious issue- an issue that I believe all men, all over the world are also faced with. Last night I went out for drinks with a friend at a local bar in Soho. My friend was there with some of her colleagues and their friends having after work drinks, socializing and networking.
I was happy to grab a drink myself and join in the mingling. I was introduced to a bunch of guys and maybe three or four girls. Of course the ratio was far from ideal, but even pimps need a night off once in a while, right?
Even after meeting roughly 7 dudes I was able to remember all of their names and what they did for a living- luckily most of them were in finance so it wasn’t difficult to remember. I had short conversations with most of them and was able to get a good feeling of who they were as people. As for the girls, the conversations tended to linger a bit.
This wasn’t on purpose- but night off or not, talking to women tends to hold my interest longer than when talking to guys. After making my rounds I came to a realization- an epiphany if you will. While I retained a decent amount of information from the conversations with men, I couldn’t tell you what color shirt they were wearing, whether they had a big nose or pointy ears.
However, when it came to the women, not only could I tell you what they were wearing, I could tell you just about anything you could possibly want to know about their physical appearance.
Not only could I tell you how the girl wore her hair, I could, and still can, tell you which girl had the prettiest smile, which had the nicest calves, the longest neck, the perkiest breasts, and the fattest ass. I didn’t see the women as whole people- I saw them as a collection of individual parts; I saw them as an assortment of relative objects.
We hear about this sort of objectification of women all the time. I never thought of myself as being the sort of guy that would meet a woman for the first time and leave thinking that I just met a nice pair of tits. But it turns out I am. I did some digging and it turns out that I am not to blame for my objectification of females- women are literally viewed as a group of separate parts while men are viewed as wholes.
There was a recent study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology that showed just this. Sarah Gervais, a psychologist at the University of Nebraska, had this to say about the subject: “Everyday, ordinary women are being reduced to their sexual body parts. This isn’t just something that supermodels or porn stars have to deal with.” This objectification of women is done by both sexes. Women objectify other women just as much as men do.
Phew. That makes me feel much less like a chauvinistic pig. I was getting worried there for a second, but it turns out that it’s just the way that our brains work- we can’t help it. I was considering trying to fight my natural tendency to objectify the ladies, but you can’t fight nature; it’s a losing battle.
I am going to go on looking at each an every curve individually- but rest assured ladies, in my mind you’re naked bodies will definitely be whole. Probably oiled up and strewn over the arm of my couch, but whole.
Paul Hudson | Elite.