How The Ruthless Nature Of Men Has Forced Women To Become Guarded

by Joe Welkie

In today’s world, dating is difficult for everyone. Finding the right person to settle down with has never left the depths of peoples’ minds. We all want to find that special someone — a soul mate with whom we can live happily ever after.

After all, sometimes fairy tales do happen in real life.

Still, fairy tales are fiction for a reason and finding your soul mate has gotten a lot tougher in recent years because people don't know how to handle themselves. Not to mention technology has increased connectivity, making the potential dating pool impossibly larger.

Apparently, some people out there are animals who are downright foul.

These “people” I'm talking about are mostly guys. I wish I could say there’s an associated age range, but unfortunately, many heterosexual guys who range in age from 13 to 100 are just mindless slobs trying to get into a woman's pants without even caring to be suave about it. There are many sides to this story and I think we should explore all of them.

A while ago, I was using an online dating service (scoff away, but you know you do it, too) and came across a pattern while checking out the profiles of different women: They all featured disclaimers. On the particular dating service I was using, the last part of the profile had a section that read: "You Should Message Me If..." None of the girls wrote anything nice in said section.

They never wrote, "You should message me if... you have a great sense of humor." Or, "You should message me if... you think we'd hit it off!" More often, they would say something to the effect of, "You should message me if... Okay. first of all, I'm not on here to hook up so stop trying! Think of something more creative to say than 'hi,' and NO, I will not send you naked pictures, and for the love of GOD, LEARN HOW TO SPELL!"

Holy sh*t! Talk about a scorned woman! Upon reading all of these profiles, I felt like the girls were being aggressive to the point of seeming like they didn’t want anyone to message them at all. They didn't seem very welcoming to the guys on the sites, so I had a hard time finding anything to say to them. Then, I took it personally and started to have the typical guy thought: "Well, she just seems like a bitch."

But then I thought about it and I realized that many featured those angry disclaimers for a reason. Maybe they get numerous messages per day asking for naked pictures or messages that have gross and unsolicited sexual comments.

What are the guys who do these things thinking? I'm curious about the thought processes of these imbeciles. I want to know what goes through their minds before they send, "Hey, want to f*ck?" I wonder if they ever asked for naked pictures and got them.

It has to have worked for someone, somewhere, right? If it never worked, why would they continue? I realize that online dating is, in large part, a numbers game; guys have to send A LOT of messages in order to get one reply, but it might be because there are a bunch of primitive men out there ruining it for the rest of us.

Recently, I went on a date with a girl I had met online, and upon meeting, the first words she said to me were, "Just letting you know, I'm not going to f*ck you tonight." “Okay. Awesome. Hello, my name is Joe, nice to meet you.” Where do you go from there? How do you go on and have a good first date after someone drops such a bomb?

Look, I realize that on almost 99 percent of first dates, I'm not going to get laid, but it goes without saying! I know it; you know it. Just calm down and let's enjoy these tacos. I hardly ever expect to get or go in for a kiss on the first date now, mainly because I feel like girls are so guarded due to guys acting like such animals.

Before the advent of online dating, I always used to think that kissing on the first date was a thing people did, but now that I've grown and the Internet has taken over every aspect of our lives, I understand why people don't kiss on the first date. I don't go for it, I don't expect it to happen and I understand why. The first date now isn't a way to meet someone and get to know him or her better because you are both interested in each other.

Now, the first date is when you try to prove to your date that you aren't going to murder her.

Women have to be so guarded now because guys have been so disgusting. When they say chivalry is dead, I completely believe it. However, I'm not even trying to promote chivalry; I just want to promote the idea that every person should be a decent human being.

If you think a girl is giving you the cold shoulder or is skeptical about you, she probably is and it's probably because there were 200 guys before you who were cavemen -- hunched over, staring at her boobs the whole time and grunting.

I want to make a case -- a plea, if you will -- to women. I understand that there are gross, disgusting, impish men out there who say awful things to you. I understand that it may turn you off and lead you to lose faith in humanity.

However, that isn't a reason to treat EVERY guy in the world this way. There are some great guys out there who you completely shut down and shut out of your life because of history. Poor past experiences don't validate your treating well-meaning guys like crap or making a first date awkward by shouting to the heavens:


This post is a plea for both men and women. Let’s have a little common decency, people. Let's make this world a better, less perverse place.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It