She's Not Crazy; You Are
“That bitch be crazy!”
It's a line every man, who has ever dated a woman, has uttered at some point during their relationship -- albeit, with a better understanding of the English language. Men are assh*les and women are crazy; it's the general consensus. The truth is a little bit of both, only varying according to the situation.
Women are more emotional than men and their emotions are likely to either be misunderstood or dismissed by them.
Men, on the other hand, either don’t bother to make the effort to understand a woman or are disinclined to take their criticisms as truths that would require a change in their actions and general behavior. In other words, some bitches actually are crazy, but most of the time, men are just selfish, emotionally inept, egocentric dicks.
I don’t want to put the blame on one sex versus the other; in actuality, both sexes are partially to blame -- not because they are the ones necessarily acting improperly, but because they are failing to completely understand the other’s position and refuse to cater to the other’s needs.
In order for any relationship to work, adjustments need to be made -- there’s no way around it. The problem is, when women are bothered by something in a relationship, they will, more often than not, keep it to themselves because they don’t believe their man will appreciate the criticism.
You see, while women don’t see such comments on issues within a relationship necessarily as a criticism, that’s exactly the way men see them.
Let’s be honest: Men have huge egos. It’s the way we were built. It’s the way we are and the way we like to be. The problem is, our lives are so filled with our blown-up egos, there is little room for anyone else to be squeezed in.
Men don’t always believe they are right, but they never want to admit they're wrong, either. I don’t think anyone does; yet, for some reason, it seems that women are better at admitting their faults.
Women are more willing to work on problems and fix them, while men see any attempt at change as a direct attack on their person.
How many of you guys out there have ever gotten extremely annoyed when your girlfriend came to you with sadness in her eyes, expressing to you that something has been bothering her and she needs to talk about it?
Of course, some women are more direct and more aggressive about voicing their concerns, but generally speaking, it’s usually the man that dominates a relationship -- not because that’s the way it should be, but because women are more emotional and men are more stubborn.
Women will be the ones bringing up and addressing issues, while the man will be brushing them off or getting angry and frustrated with the woman for constantly “overreacting” and making a “fuss over nothing,” “only creating problems where there are none.”
What men don’t realize -- or choose to ignore -- is that when a women comes to you with a problem she has, then, although it may not be a problem to you, it’s a problem to her.
Men have a tendency to hold onto their autonomy for as long as possible, while women are more willing to fuse and become one. Women will become more emotionally dependent on the man and, therefore, are more affected by their subtlest of actions than the man is by the woman’s.
The problem arises from the fact that women are trying to become one with the man -- a single, coherent unit -- while the man wants to keep his identity separate. The question is: If you’re in a relationship, should you not be trying to, in a sense, become one with your lover?
Is that not the point of being in a relationship? To create a bond and a connection that allows you to partner up in life? If this is true and men willingly enter into a relationship, only to try to distance themselves as much as possible and push back whenever the woman tries to come closer, then who are the crazy ones? The women? Or is it actually the men?
If you’re going to be in a relationship, you should understand that you are signing up for a team sport. You have to work together to make the partnership work.
The only way to do that is by listening to each other’s concerns, voicing your own in a respectful manner, and making concessions where need be for the simple reason that you love your partner and don’t want to lose her.
She may be a crazy bitch, but she’s your crazy bitch, and if you love her, then you need to allow for a dialogue to open up and make the changes to your regular actions that need to be changed.
Before you dub her as an emotional mess, hear her out. Women aren’t emotional for no reason; something must be bothering them enough to affect them in such a way.
If your woman is more emotional than you can handle, which may be the case, then you may need to call it quits, but only do so after voicing the issues you have with her. Chances are, the littlest of things can be tweaked in order to make the relationship last.
Relationships are about compromise -- no relationship ever "just works." Issues always arise and the more mature the couple, the better the chances of finding resolutions that work. Because most men have too large of an ego to even hear their woman out, it’s them who are crazy -- not the other way around.
Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr
