We're All Emotional: Why Guys Need To Be Less Hesitant To Show Their Feelings
Oftentimes, men complain that women are too emotional and claim to be put-off by their so-called unpredictable behaviors. Well, too many men don’t embrace the simple truth that they experience the same emotions as women, despite having been trained to ignore it.
When guys act impulsively toward how a woman feels, it is likely just their own repressed emotions lashing out. This causes problems. Introspection, expression and being in touch with yourself are all characteristics that society has deemed to be sissy or effeminate for men.
From young ages, boys are told to be tough and to not cry, as it is a sign of weakness. Into their teenage years and adulthood, this mindset further conditions boys to develop complexes and behaviors that reflect an oftentimes fake, overly masculine demeanor.
The pressure to conform can be too much for guys to handle and so, many submit. They put on manly fronts and swell both their muscles and egos to the point of complete illusion.
They fabricate stories about their lives that are so far removed from reality that they can no longer distinguish what’s real or fake.
Inevitably, many guys feel subtle senses of their phoniness, but they mask it with another “beef session” and another night of drinking, while making insensitive jokes about their friends. From this place of overcompensation to be masculine and repress emotion, men often come off as harsh and cruel to girls.
They are raised to see emotions as weak characteristics and fail to realize how natural it is for every human being. We are creatures of emotion, which is precisely why we are the incredible, social animals that we are today.
We’ve advanced our survival skills and our endlessly creative ways to communicate based on of the fact that we are emotional. This is what makes us unique. So, why should we hide it?
Why do women find it outrageously adorable when a guy expresses his love for his mother? Well, women love when a man shows his softer side. If all guys can let go of their macho façades and treat their significant others the way they love their moms, sisters or grandmas, we would all have so many more love stories.
The sensitive guys do exist, ladies. They aren’t at the local club, slamming vodka Red Bull and they aren’t on Instagram hashtagging their muscular selfies. They’re the strangers in coffeeshops who look at you with genuine smiles.
They’re the guys your mom has been trying to set you up with because “he has a good head on his shoulders.” They’re not “weird or creepy” and your mom probably has a better judge of character than you do.
Guys, you are not Mr. Macho because you eat steak and eggs on the way to the gym. You’re overcompensating and may have high blood pressure. You aren’t fooling anyone. This isn’t a direct knock on you, and I’d be lying if I said I encompass some of these qualities.
However, you must become aware of the tendency to be too manly. Realize when you’ve come off as arrogant and stubborn and make right whatever your impulsive behavior led you to do wrong.
The yin and yang from Chinese philosophy teaches us that seemingly opposite forces are actually complementary. Feminine and masculine traits are prime examples of the yin and the yang.
However, fact remains that although we are all biologically male and female, we are all emotionally hard wired to embody both of these traits — therein lies our problem. Men are disproportionally masculine and discount their feminine side, not knowing it is exactly what makes them a well-balanced partner or friend.
We must return to a healthy balance. If you want to sweep a girl off of her feet, tell her how you’re really feeling. Stop letting the lustful side of your relationship motivate you and try to understand her as a person, regardless of her gender.
You must develop a solid foundation before you can take one another seriously. Realize that you are an expressive creature who is capable of being caring and empathetic. Realize that we’re all emotional.
Photo Courtesy: Warner Bros./The Great Gatsby