8 Thoughts Every 20-Something Woman Has About Players

by Samantha Lebbos

I can’t hear the word “playa” without cringing. If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what the term means, a “playa” is a guy who dedicates his time to multiple women by making them believe he cares about them enough to steamroll their feelings (after hooking up with them).

I don’t care if you are a “playa” or not. I, along with other females, am great at picking the good guys from the bad. We’re not stupid -- trust me.

However, all of those guys who think they are kewl for leading on multiple women need to realize a few things. If you guys think that having a bunch of girls on your arm is attractive, think again. Please. And if you are a female who thinks that’s cool, there's a lot more to life than you may think.

It is so funny to reminisce on our middle school years, when boys would “date” a different girl every two weeks and girls flocked to him, in hopes that maybe they'd be the next flavor of the month. They're though process consisted mainly of, "If that girl wants him, I want him, too!"

In high school, boys who “played” several girls came to be known as the assh*les. In college, it seemed that no one cared (unless someone was playing you and four of your sorority sisters).

The only people who think that the title of “playa” is SO awesome is a playa's immature — “POUND IT” (insert chest bump) — guy friends. Here are eight things females think when it comes to the playas:

1. You are gross:

But really, you are gross. After learning about all of the STDs you could get and give, sleeping with so many women doesn’t make you attractive; it makes us want to not touch you. You will be walking around and we will instantly notice the invisible “X” on your forehead that means “DO NOT HOOK UP WITH ME.”

The more we mature, the more we care about our bodies. It a part of life; a healthy life is the best kind of life.

2. You don’t have any standards:

Standards make guys hot. Nothing is more attractive than a guy who knows exactly what he wants. Sleeping with every girl you see just shows that you are self-conscious and have no standards whatsoever. There’s a female out there who will make you fall crazy in love. You just have to dig deep and realize what you like and don’t like.

3. You look immature and desperate:

If you hop from one girl to the next at the bar, you’ll look like an idiot. Grow a pair and remember that one day, you will fall for someone who won’t be impressed by your reputation.

4. You have a lot to prove:

Let’s say you finally meet a girl with whom you want to spend quality time. You want to actually start a relationship with this chick.

Do you know how exhausting it will be since you are so used to being a playa? Especially if she knows you’re a heartbreaker who enjoys fooling around with so many women you can’t even keep track. Trust is a major issue these days, especially when it comes to relationships. If the right girl can’t trust you, who will?

5. You don’t seem dedicated:

I love when guys are dedicated. The look on their face when they are focused is a beautiful thing. The most attractive dedication is when a guy is committed to one girl.

It’s lovely to watch how he caters just to her. The way he doesn’t care one bit about what the guys say and he doesn’t take a second glance any other girls because he found a gem. You want other girls to wish they were your girlfriend, not to hate you.

6. Your life seems exhausting:

Wait, how do you keep up with all of these women? I can’t even text more than two people without needing a nap. Point made.

 7. “Drama” is your middle name:

I’m the first to say that some women are f*cking nuts. They say they don’t care, but trust me, if you give them your full attention, you better keep doing it or they will think something is wrong.

Questions will fly your way and you won’t be able to handle it. You will lose every argument because guess what? Females are the smartest creatures on this planet.

They will discover everything about you through social media, your friends, your boss, your parents, your grandma and even your dog. Don’t give a female any reason to do her research because once you do, well, good luck.

8. Are you broke?

Where do you get all of this money to treat these five girls at once? Let me know because I need to pay for rent pretty soon. I understand a few drinks won’t break your bank, but if you’re constantly out with different females, doesn’t it get expensive?

Here’s what’s attractive: when you go out for drinks with your boys and come home to your girl at the end of the night. We love when guys spend their time building a relationship with someone of interest.

We enjoy guys who aren’t afraid to go out and show off their ladies to the world because they are proud. It’s charming when guys know how to have fun without needing to sleep with someone different every weekend.

I am not saying you will never settle down, because it’s likely that one day you will. You are young. Go out and explore. Do your thing. But, since you’re accustomed to being with so many women, settling down may be a struggle.

You can find one female to whom you can dedicate all of your attraction and you’ll still get the same outcome every night (in addition to more safety since you’re only hooking up her).

The best part? You will finally realize the difference between a “boy” and a “man.”

Photo credit: Menelik Puryear