On Bumble, I have always found that the more insane your first message is, the better the conversation flows. A normal "hi" leads to a boring, dry convo with a guy whose personality you never really get a true sense of.
But when you let your freak flag fly, you let them know from the jump that you're an insane person, and you get a chance to have some witty rapport.
While online dating is mostly based on looks and attraction, it's conversation and personality that actually matter when it comes to relationships.
So here are some funny opening lines to ambush your Bumble match with that will actually show whether or not you have anything to chat about.
"I came here to murder you!"
So sure, this is a line from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but it's not only bound to get a few laughs — it can also spark up a conversation about your favorite movies.
And hey, then maybe you can both make plans to go see a movie together. See, I'm always looking out for you.
"Can I have your Hulu password?"
I mean, what if he actually gives it to you? That's probably true love, and on top of it, you can then binge-watch The Handmaid's Tale.
If he says no, then you might want to follow up with, "OK, so... Netflix?"
"Does this mean we're married now?"
For flirtation sake, he will definitely say yes. And then, you guys can jokingly go into planning your wedding.
Then, in his mind, he will associate you with weddings. It's a psychological thing, you know?
It's like in Clueless when Cher eats chocolates around her crush because it will direct his attention to her mouth, and her mouth will make him think of, well, sex stuff.
"So, how many phone chargers do you have in your apartment?"
He should have two or more — non-negotiable.
If he says he only has one, then you can ask, "Well, where's mine?" or "What about when I sleep over?"
A guy who only has one phone charger in his house is not planning for the future! It's that simple!
"I hope you don't care that I have a ton of food allergies."
Pretend you are super high-maintenance and see how he reacts. Also, ask him if it's OK that you bring your teacup poodle with you everywhere you go. Why not?!
"Did you cry when Dobby the House Elf died in Harry Potter?"
If he didn't, then he is a monster.
Who didn't cry when Dobby died? I mean, come on.
"Do you back up into parking spaces?"
I fully believe there is something wrong with people who back into parking spaces instead of just pulling straight into them.
Are they trying to show off? Do they make life intentionally complicated?
I just don't get it... this might just be a me thing, though.
"Will you take a sociopath test before we start talking? I just want to be safe."
If he says yes, then send him the link to one of those internet ones. Then, you can discuss the results.
"My mom can't wait to meet you!!!!!!!"
Follow this one up with "I've already told her all about you!!!"
"Do you 'string' string cheese or take whole bites out of it? This is important."
This is a sociopath test in and of itself.
I mean, who takes whole bites out of string cheese? You absolutely are not supposed to do that. Someone who does that has no patience. Patience is important in a relationship.
How you eat string cheese says a lot about a person!
"Let's share how many times we've been arrested. You go first."
Hopefully, he knows you're joking, and hopefully, his answer will be zero. But either way, this will definitely illicit a response.
Do you have any pick-up lines that work great for you? Let me know in the comments!