What Happens When All Your Friends Start Getting Married
We go through our teens blissfully unaware of the huge changes in life ahead of us.
We seek comfort in the notion that our friend groups will never change, and someday, we'll be swept off our feet by the men (or women) of our dreams, all at the same time.
Yeah… that doesn't happen.
People's lives naturally progress at different rates. Some of your friends will choose to get married and have children, while others will remain children themselves, stuck in a constant cycle of fuckboy flings, day drinking and making terrible, wine-based decisions.
But what happens when that person, still single as ever, is you?
You will begin to develop a fear of hand pictures.
Whether you see someone hand in hand with their partner, with their hand on their partner's chest or just a picture of their hand to show off the ring, single people hate hand pictures more than they hate being questioned about their love lives.
You will form a personal vendetta against anyone who uses months to describe their child's age.
"Bobby is 36 months old," "No, Bobby is 3. He's fucking 3."
You'll probably start drinking a lot more.
You've become well acquainted with the fact that you'll probably be drunk at almost everything you're invited to — from teetering down the aisle with a bottle of champagne at a wedding to downing mimosas under the table at a baby shower.
You will start to fear going back home.
With all of your friends starting to settle down, you will begin to worry there will be an arranged marriage waiting for you on your next visit.
You basically become a foster child to your friends.
When your friends get married and have children, they basically need to accept the fact that they will also become parent-like figures to you and your other single friends.
But what if you no longer want to compete with a 3-month-old baby? What if you've had enough of crashing other people's date nights? What if you've finally realized that three may, in fact, be a crowd?
You find new friends. You enlist the help of an app.
The technology landscape is changing, and apps are revolutionizing the way we connect with other people. Not only are there "trusted" dating apps, like Tinder, but we've also seen the rise of the friendship app.
Social apps, such as Huggle, offer a BFF matchmaking service that connects users based on mutual interests and their favorite places they have in common.
Although the concept may seem a bit strange at first (we're used to swiping right on the people we want to date), it's the perfect way to meet people with similar interests... even if your main interests include pizza, Jamie Dornan and drinking a whole bottle of wine by yourself.
You'll want to start visiting new places.
The majority of us are creatures of habit, rarely stepping outside our comfort zones or breaking away from our daily routines.
Try making a list of places you'd like to go to and make a point of visiting them on your days off. Even if you don't end up talking to another human, learning to enjoy your own company can be strangely liberating.
You'll feel an itch to try new experiences...
...and I don't mean switching from wine to spirits.
Group activities are a great way to meet new, likeminded people and the millennial age has brought us a wave of different activities to choose from, like underwater spinning, bungee dancing and aerial yoga.
However quirky your chosen activity may be, a new experience is sure to get you out of your "my friends have all selfishly chosen happiness over me" slump.
So don't worry; you can be content in the knowledge that you don't have wear "Eau De Baby Spit Up" or sit up until 3 am listening to the dulcet tones of a baby monitor.