7 Things I Want My Friends' Ex Boyfriends To Understand
I know what you’re thinking: "Here’s another psycho girl ready to curse me out and tell me why I’m a total d-bag for breaking her friend’s heart."
Well, that’s where you’re wrong.
I’m not here to call you stupid names or attempt some juvenile form of cyberbullying. No, that’s not it at all.
I’m actually here to help you.
Coming from someone who’s seen first-hand the consequences of your actions, I’d like to offer some friendly advice.
Here are a few tips to help improve your chances of redeeming yourself among the female population:
1. Relationships involve feelings -- deal with it.
I can’t tell you the number of conversations I’ve had with my friends discussing an unanswered text, a rejected phone call or a rude response.
We’re pegged as being overly emotional and borderline dramatic in almost every relationship, mostly because we believe feelings actually mean something and are meant to be acknowledged.
Don't get me wrong; we all have our moments, but if you took two seconds to actually listen and tried to understand to what she was saying, maybe it wouldn't have ended up like it did.
Having feelings doesn't make you a pussy; it makes you human.
2. She deserves to be treated as a princess your equal.
Despite the fact that you never even came close to treating her like a princess, that’s not what bothers me.
What really bothers me is when I see my friends, some of the most incredible, caring, loving individuals I know, being treated like they are less than humans.
They're treated like they can be played and manipulated, without the slightest bit of regret because you know they love you and will come running back to you.
I don’t care if she's your girlfriend of five years or a complete stranger; people deserve to be treated with respect.
It’s a simple concept, and the people who can’t seem to grasp it tend to get bit in the ass by a little thing called karma.
3. Not everything can be forgiven.
We all know how easy it can be to forgive the people we love. Everyone makes mistakes, right?
But when those mistakes become regular occurrences, that’s when you have a problem.
You may have gotten away with the flirty text she saw on your phone or that time you lied about where you were, but the fact that she let these things slide and tried to be understanding was not a free pass to do whatever the hell you want.
You screwed up, and you did it enough times for her to realize she was done forgiving.
And just because you may be sitting there now filled with regret and ready to send an apology text for the 18th time, doesn’t mean she’s going to come running back.
She deserves better, and it’s time you realized that.
4. Age does not determine a man.
If somehow, around age 18, all boys miraculously turned into proud, respectable men, the world would be one magical place full of paid dinners, opened car doors and very, very happy women.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Just like women, they all mature (when they want to, that is).
It’s completely dependent on their personality and their decisions, and no one person can force them to make the process any faster -- not even their loving girlfriends.
I can't be upset with you for not wanting to grow up. I get it, being a kid is fun.
But I can blame you for pursuing a woman who has. Try dating younger; you may just find someone who’s willing to put up with your childish games.
5. Drinking is not an excuse for violent behavior.
I don’t care if you’ve had one sip or 12 shots, under no circumstance should the amount of alcohol you choose to consume threaten the safety of your significant other.
It’s a fact of life that some drunks have more self-control than others, but the ones who take it too far too often have a responsibility to address the situation immediately -- especially when it involves the well-being of their loved ones.
You know yourself well enough by now to decide when it’s time to stop, and if being completely obliterated is more important to you than caring for your own girlfriend, you have bigger problems coming.
Men who harm women in any state are cowards. End of story.
6. She is more than capable of finding someone better.
In case you’ve forgotten, you fell for this girl.
You saw her, you liked her and you made a commitment because you saw something in her that you didn't want to let go.
Whether you still feel this way or not is irrelevant because she’s moving on to bigger and better things.
I know how much it sucks thinking of your ex being with other people, and that’s exactly why I’d like to offer you a fair warning -- get used to it.
7. You blew it; now learn from it.
In case you haven’t caught the vibes yet, I’m not a fan.
Not because I have anything against you personally, but because anyone who mistreats my friends is not someone I feel deserves any second chances.
Though my friends may disagree, in my mind, the damage is done. You had your chance, you broke her heart and you lost all my respect.
Do you care?
No, who gives a sh*t what some random chick I never met before thinks, right?
I get it.
Think what you want, but just know I’m not the only one. Women will always support one another, and they will continue to make mens’ lives a living hell if they’re given due cause.
Best of luck, boys. You're going to need it.