Why You Don't Have To Forgive The Person Who Broke Your Heart To Move On

by Maggie Munley

Listen here, beautiful girl.

You deserve to be the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up, and the last thing he thinks of every night before falling asleep.

You deserve to feel completely, truly and utterly wanted and to never question your significance in his life.

You deserve to be his number one priority — not “a” priority, the priority. You deserve everything you've given to him.

You know damn well you bent over backwards for him. You crossed oceans for someone who couldn't seem to jump puddles for you.

You were patient with someone who gave you his time of day only when it was convenient for him. You were an option in his routine life, and when he was too “tired,” “busy” or “wanted to be alone,” you were the last thing on his list to get to — if you weren't completely scribbled out, that is.

Shame on him for tossing out someone who would've done anything in the world for him. You are one of a kind, beautiful girl.

Your heart is so big, pure and kind. You put everyone else in your life miles ahead of yourself, and you just want someone to do the same for you.

You put everyone else miles ahead of yourself, and you just want someone to do the same for you.

You hoped and prayed that if you continued to shower him with love, acceptance and kindness, it may give him some incentive to show you just any of that in return.

Your heart is forgiving, naturally, as you have so much love to give. You're having a hard time justifying any of this.

You think “maybe he'll come around,” or “maybe it was something I did” or worst yet, you might even start to agree with or find justification in his shitty reason for abandoning you so suddenly.

But you don't have to forgive this person for breaking your heart for no good reason. There is no justification for that.

Beautiful, silly, naïve girl, you'll look back someday and realize how unfair, hurtful and disrespectful it is to leave someone you love abandoned without any closure. Maybe not now, maybe not this year, but someday.

If someone wants to leave your life, there is nothing wrong with that. People come and go as they please every day. We simply cannot control who is meant to cross our paths, who paves our paths and who is turning away from our paths.

But when someone has claimed to “love” you, they will not leave your heart dangling on a string by severing ties so suddenly without giving you a reasonable explanation.

Everyone deserves an answer. A relationship without closure is damaging, and you don't deserve that after all you've done for them.

A relationship without closure is damaging, and you don't deserve that after all you've done for them.

I know you all too well, beautiful girl. Part of you is holding on so tightly to whatever hope you have left that he will change.

Did he leave things open-ended? Did he promise his love to you? Ah, yes, I'm sure he did, as most cowardly men do when they cannot seem to express how they're actually feeling.

Though any failed relationship hurts like hell, you deserve the truth. You deserve someone who has the balls to tell you how they're feeling, why they no longer see a future with you and for the love of God, you deserve a face-to-face conversation.

But you, kind girl, your heart so pure has even found an excuse for that! "Expressing emotion is difficult for some people," you may think. "This was easiest for him, and I understand him not wanting to see me cry," you tell yourself.

Wrong again, you are. When a conversation in person has not been had, and he still hasn't mustered up the perfect concoction of a response after months of wording his best work, there are no excuses left.

He has left you, beautiful girl. Accept that. Accept that if he no longer wants to be in your life, you shouldn't want to keep him around anyway.

The people who want to stay will stay, and the ones who don't will up and leave when the going gets tough.

The people who want to stay will stay. The ones who don't will up and leave when the going gets tough.

Your love was too big for him, beautiful girl. And that's OK. There is no such thing as too much love. And if you love someone, don't forget to tell them – they deserve it just as much as you do.

Even when you've told them a thousand times, remind them. You're young. You have so much to learn, so much to give…

You deserve the kind of 2 am love when he pulls you close in bed just to remind you how loved you are. You deserve the dancing-around-the-kitchen-when-you're-cooking-dinner love.

You deserve someone who thinks about you all the time and worries about you after not hearing from you all day. You deserve listening to your favorite bedtime story of how the two of you fell in love and how you met.

Everyone, even you, beautiful girl, deserves someone to keep them looking forward to tomorrow.

Everyone, even you, deserves someone to keep them looking forward to tomorrow.

Life is not meant to be tackled by yourself, my friend, though you've done a killer job fighting all on your own.

Love is something we all seek so desperately, I truly believe it is the closest thing we have to magic.

And we all deserve a piece of magic, not just the illusion of it. Keep your head up, beautiful girl. Your magic is coming.