When you sign up for a friends-with-benefits relationship, criticism comes with the package.
People will say you’re setting yourself up to get hurt, or your partner will get hurt, or a random stranger on the street will get hurt. No matter what point someone is trying to convey, the dreaded "H" word is in the mix.
But, don’t all relationships, even the monogamous ones, have the potential to hurt you?
If you want a sexy stud to sleep with because you’re not in the right mindset to sustain a serious relationship, have fun with a friend with benefits. It’s not slutty; it’s called being considerate.
It’s better to find someone who’s on the same page as you than to settle for some boyfriend you know likes you way more than you like him.
However, no matter how sex starved you are, you’ll eventually want to settle down. While everyone wants to have a special story about meeting her hubby at a wine tasting and falling in love at first sight, the real world is much messier.
You might end up falling for your friend with benefits, and trust me, it can work out. Despite what people say, starting out as FWB doesn’t mean you’re destined for disaster. Here's why:
1. Best Friends
There are different types of friends with benefits. There is the type that meets up, has sex and immediately leaves without a kiss or a cuddle. Then, there is the type that drives to your place to hang out like buddies and watch TV, and then you have sex as a bonus.
If you’re a part of the second group, then you have a strong bond with your FWB that extends beyond the bedroom.
Some people jump into relationships with men they barely know, but you know your partner all too well. If you decide to date, the fact that you were friends first is a huge benefit.
2. Good Sex
At some point, your relationship revolved around sex, which means you must have been getting it good. There was never a reason to fake an orgasm or tell him how talented he was when he wasn’t.
When you’re in a relationship, you might feel bad about hurting your partner’s feelings and avoid mentioning he isn’t fulfilling your sexual needs.
But, when you’re with a FWB, you have no problem coaching each other because good sex is the end goal.
When you transition from FWB to boyfriend and girlfriend, a lot of things will change, but the amazing sex will stay the same.
3. Nothing’s Forced
If you fall in love with your FWB, you know you must be crazy about him. Why? Because you’ve been trying so hard not to develop feelings for him. When you meet a nice, sweet guy, sometimes you force your feelings into existence.
You know he’d be the perfect boyfriend, so you try to convince yourself you love him. But, if you love your FWB, the opposite occurs.
The love blossoms against your will, which must mean your feelings are super strong because they’re fighting against your common sense.
You’d think it would be harder to trust a guy you know bangs women outside of a relationship. However, you two were basically boyfriend and girlfriend without the title, back when you were friends with benefits.
He didn’t have to agree to enter a monogamous relationship with you when you were already banging him without forcing him to meet your parents and take you out on the town. If he agrees to date you, there’s no reason to have trust issues.
Giving up no-strings-attached sex to be called your boyfriend means he’s serious about you.
5. It’s Unexpected
The best things in life are the things you can’t predict. Most people will try to convince you a FWB relationship will never survive the transition into a monogamous one. In many cases, that’s the truth.
Of course, there are always exceptions. There are plenty of people who started out as banging buddies, but ended up happily married. Be like them and you’ll get the satisfaction of proving the world wrong.