How To Get A Successful Date, IRL, In A World Obsessed With Tinder

by Kyle C.
Studio Firma

Asking for a date proves to be difficult and intimidating for many guys. Some do it too soon, while others wait too long and fail when they do it.

Here is the right way to get that date in the most natural way possible; just follow these three basic steps: first contact, texting and calling.

First contact

The success of any prospective date is largely based on your first contact. You've probably found out by now that the phone number matters only as long as you've made an impression on her, otherwise she may take you for a weirdo whose face or name she doesn't even remember.

So, the main objective of your first interaction is to get a SOLID phone number. That means you don't just ask for it in the first five minutes after you've met. Play it smart, focus your conversations on gaining her trust, establishing a connection and stirring her interest in seeing you again.

You can do this by sharing some things about your life and asking about hers. Things you are passionate about are always great topics. If you find common interests -- there is your connection. Stress upon it, and launch a challenge to stir her interest further.

For instance, if you both are passionate about painting, mention an exposition that you'd like to go and perhaps she'll invite herself to come along. Or, if you both love Mexican food, ask about her favorite restaurant that serves it, and suggest that you might go there together.

It is paramount to MENTION a future date because one, if she expects it, she's more likely to accept it, and two, you're testing the waters by seeing her reaction to your suggestion. When she dismisses the idea instantly, you'll have to work more. Otherwise, you're good to go for a solid number.

Unless she shows herself obviously willing, don't shoot for the date during your first contact because most girls will dismiss your advance altogether. Girls like to be courted, so you can indulge them a little.


OK, you've got her number. Now, you need to text her. An immediate text after you get the number is always a MUST. You should just say something simple and short like "Nice to meet you, Linda. Good to know there are other Renaissance painting lovers out there. Kyle.”

By sending her a text right away, you make sure that she also has your phone number and that she can relate it to your name. It will also add to the impression you're making.

When you're kind of insecure about her willingness to accept a date, the second text should be about getting her more interested. You can either text her about something you've discussed and she seemed to like or ask about what she's been up to (again, based on what you've talked during the first interaction). If you manage to be funny, you'll always score more points.

The third or the second text by case should directly hint at the date. Beware: You should NOT be asking and neither mention the word “date,” but rather suggest to meet up.

So, you shouldn't say “Do you still want to go to that Mexican restaurant we've talked about?” You should say, “I'm really craving some Mexican goodies, so I'll take you up on that restaurant you've recommend. Are you free tomorrow night?”

I'll give you one extra tip here: Asking her out during weekdays will increase your success odds because one, she might already have plans for the weekend, and two, she won't expect it.

After she positively replies, you can either act like a gentleman (and send an answer text letting her know when you're going to call her to establish the details) or take the easy way (and directly send the details by message).

Overall, the secret of successful texting is to be brief, to the point, firm (no questions and hesitations), funny (if you can), put the text into context (what you've talked about previously) and be grammatically correct. I've seen lots of situations in which the girl refuses to date a guy because he didn't mind his spelling.

It's just a pity to spoil things because you're lazy to proofread your texts or use the autocorrect feature.

Remember: Make your text personal by using her first name, and always bring up something that you've talked about in person.

Phone call

These days, most guys avoid phone calls -- and this is another strong reason you should bother. You will stand out from the rest and prove to be a gentleman. She already agreed to the date via text, so there is actually nothing to worry about, but everything to win.

A guy who calls before the first date shows confidence and maturity, and this is exactly what women are after. You are supposedly courageous enough to face a phone call conversation that is, in any case, more personal and spontaneous than texting.

And indeed, hearing your voice is more private, which will add to your level of connection. At the same time it will make her feel more comfortable and secure about hanging out with you.

On the other hand, if you call her, you get to confirm the date. Girls sometimes back off from half-agreeing-to-the-date texting, but not from calls. Phone calls work like a promise; they are direct and allow for less misunderstanding compared to texting.

Your phone conversation should be rather short and snappy. You just need to confirm her interest and establish the details. So, don't get into various topics -- you'll have time to dwell on them once you meet. By keeping it brief, you'll be able to avoid any awkward moments of silence and limit the opportunity to get into particulars that may throw her off.

Now you know how to get that date, and there can't be any more excuses. If you follow these three simple steps, you'll be amazed by the openness and interest she'll show during the first date.


Want more awesome advice? Visit my blog, get my free eBook and learn exactly how to meet and keep the women you've always wanted.