First dates are the worst: They're awkward, uncomfortable and unnatural.
If you're lucky, the two of you will have some organic chemistry. But if not, you'll be scheming about how to get out of there within the first half hour.
Either way, here are a few warning signs you should never dismiss:
1. He doesn't call to ask you out.
It may sound old-fashioned, but it's just plain lazy to text regarding a first date unless you have some strange phone call phobia.
If he isn't willing to put in this tiny bit of effort now, it doesn't bode very well for the future. He can take the five minutes out of his day to be a gentleman.
2. He doesn't offer to pick you up.
Hey, you don't have to accept. If you're uncomfortable with the idea, by all means, do your thing.
But the point is, he should at least be chivalrous enough to make the gesture. You want to date someone who has some manners.
3. He acts weird if you want to just meet him there.
If he has any other reaction other than saying it's cool and setting a time, that's sketchy.
Either he wants to abduct you, or he's into outdated traditional gender roles. A distant third possibility is he's just a douche who was hoping to impress you with his super cool car.
(OK: That's probably more likely than the kidnapping theory.)
4. He's late.
Obviously, unless he has a really good excuse, this is pretty lame. If he can't show up on time for your very first outing together, is he taking anything seriously? Is he even excited to spend time with you, or are you just another hookup in a long line of dating app hookups?
You shouldn't waste your precious evening with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
5. He doesn't make simple gestures of courtesy, like opening doors for you.
Of course, you're an independent woman: You can open your own doors.
But it's nice if he's at least considerate enough to do so.
Even if you don't care too much, make sure he's not dropping doors in your face without noticing. That's selfish and self-absorbed.
6. He talks about himself too much.
Seriously? This is a huge red flag, and a sign of either massive insecurities or intense narcissism.
Both are problems.
He's not invested in having a conversation with you; he's invested in looking good to someone. He doesn't really care who that person is.
7. He doesn't ask you about yourself.
This is the worst. A dialogue is called as such because it involves equal discourse between two people. It's intensely unappealing when a man goes on and on about himself, and doesn't take any interest in you or your life.
It makes you wonder why he's even on the date to begin with. Again, this is a sign of either low self-esteem or a very intense obsession with himself.
Nope.
8. He's impolite to staff.
It doesn't matter whether it's a bathroom attendant, a bartender or a valet: This lack of manners is gross.
You should get out of there right away. The kind of guy who takes for granted when others take care of him is not the guy you want. You want someone who is decent and considerate. He should behave politely, tip well and treat everyone around him like an equal.
9. He overshares.
Even if he's picking up the tab, that doesn't warrant him getting a free therapy session.
It's one thing to be honest, but it's quite another to spill every skeleton in his closet over appetizers. It makes the whole night awkward and uncomfortable.
The two of you should take the time to get to know one another. Maybe he needs someone to talk to, but he should find someone he knows a bit better.
10. He drinks too much.
This is the worst. Everyone knows that you don't get drunk on the first date.
He may be nervous, but you'll probably be able to tell if that's the case. He also might just be an alcoholic.
No matter what, he should know better. It puts you in a weird position, and he probably won't even remember half the date. That's rude.
11. He drags the night on too long.
Unless there's some magic, straight-from-a-movie chemistry or you two already know each other, he should keep the date relatively short and sweet.
You've met, you've talked and you've established whether or not there's a reason to go on a second date. Give yourselves something to look forward to, and go home at a reasonable time.
12. He tries to get you drunk.
This definitely not OK. It's creepy and desperate.
If he's a drunk who needs company, it's not your problem. Get the hell out of there.
If he's trying to get laid at all costs, gross. Still get the hell out of there.
He's super inconsiderate and skeevy, so bye.
13. He acts obnoxious.
If he needs the attention of the entire bar, the guy's got bigger issues than you want to take on. The need to be in the limelight – no matter what –points to some seriously deep inner issues.
Pass on this one and wait until you meet someone who is confident and mature enough to simply be himself.
14. He insults you or your life.
If you trust him enough at this point to tell him details about yourself, by no means should you put up with any derogatory feedback.
It doesn't matter if he says he's just joking: It's NOT OK.
This is an indicator of the lack of respect he will display toward you in the future.
15. He disrespects you.
You shouldn't put up with any disrespect whatsoever.
You absolutely do not have time in your life to waste on any person who does not respect you as a human being. Don't even bother sticking around for the rest of the date if he's behaving rudely. He doesn't deserve any more of your night.
