4 First Date Conversation Topics That You Should Never, Ever Bring Up
First dates are (obviously) incredibly important. You only get one chance to make a first impression and if things work out, it won’t be forgotten — ever.
The difference between a great first date and a poor one could very well mean the difference between a life of love and a life of loneliness. BUT NO PRESSURE.
You'll be fine! As long as you don’t make the mistake of picking the wrong conversational topics.
Talking about the wrong things on a first date could mean your first date will be your last. Don’t let that happen to you. Here are four topics that you should never bring up on date numero uno.
1. Your Ex
Old flames are never a good first date topics. First, chances are that at least one of you is still a bit bruised from a previous relationship. Most likely, both of you are. But you’re both on this date to forget about those from your past and to move on with your lives. You want to find new love, so why bring up old love?
You need to make room for love mentally. You need to make room to fill your mind with thoughts of someone new.
On a first date, the goal is to click, and you can only click if the person sitting across from you has your undivided attention. Bringing up exes is a distraction from both the present and the future. Leave it in the past for now.
Eventually you will both share all (or some) of your love stories. If you have a future together, there will be more than enough time.
2. Religion and politics.
I understand that for some of you, religion and politics are at the core of who you are as a human being. Personally, I don’t think that healthy, but hey, it’s your life and your beliefs.
When it comes to these two controversial topics, people can get very defensive. Discussions become heated. And nobody wants to feel the need to defend him or herself on a first date. Or on any date for that matter.
If religion or political preferences are a deal breaker for you, I guess you have no choice but to bring up those topics. I’d still recommend you try to be a bit more open-minded and accepting of other people’s ways of living.
If, on the other hand, you’re an individual who holds his or her beliefs to be true but accepts that there are multiple ways to interpret the reality we exist in, keeping the discussion on religion and politics for a later date would be wise.
3. Your flaws.
No one is perfect. We’ve all made mistakes, made bad decisions, and did things that we can’t undo. There is no reason to go ahead and highlight all the reasons someone might NOT like you right away.
It’s funny, but people seem to enjoy telling those they’re interested in why they shouldn’t be interested in them. It’s like we're the worst car salesmen in the world, running around telling potential buyers all the reasons the car is a lemon.
I’m not saying you should lie or pretend to be perfect, but don’t be stupid. There are plenty of reasons to like you. Focus on those and let him or her find the rest in an appropriate amount of time.
We can work on and improve most of the flaws we have. If you put your mind to it, you can turn yourself into the person you believe the love of your life deserves. But you need time for that. So do yourself a favor and don’t try and scare this person away on your first date. You’ll have plenty of time to scare him or her away later, if you really wish to do so.
4. Anything overly negative.
Negativity is incredibly unattractive. Literally no one wants to date a negative person. Not even negative people want to date other negative people! Even the most negative of individuals are looking for reasons to be hopeful. One hope they do have is finding someone positive enough to help them see the good in the world. The hopeless want hopefulness to rub off on them.
I understand that some of the most important things to you might be things that are a bit sad. You should, of course, talk about the things you find most important in this world. But just be mindful that sad stories, especially on a first date, are a bit of a buzzkill. It’s a downer. It’s wiser to leave such topics for a later date.
The first date is all about making the right impression. And the right impression should focus around positivity, good vibes, and hope for a better, happier future. Hopefully together.