Someone Perfect For You Is Out There, But Stop Looking

by Paul Hudson

There are over 7 billion people in the world and the number is continuously on the rise. Out of these 7 billion people, you are likely only to meet a couple of thousand. Out of those couple of thousand, you’ll only be truly compatible with a handful or two. Throw timing into the mix and the chances of finding an ideal person to settle down with are, to be honest, slim.

As depressing as this realization may seem, this does bring with it some sense of relief. The reality of it all is that meeting the right person – a person you will love and will love you back – is, for the most part, out of your control. This isn’t a fact to be feared. On the contrary, it’s a fact that should give you peace of mind.

Life used to be lived. Nowadays, life is controlled. Or rather, we do the best we can to control as many facets of our lives as we possibly can. We fail most of the time, but we try anyway.

We don’t like things to be outside of our control because it leaves things to chance. For those of us who aren’t especially lucky – myself included – simply allowing things to play out on their own accord seems suicidal. We feel a need to have control over our lives because we understand that giving up control leaves everything to chance – and like I mentioned earlier, most of us don’t feel very lucky.

Unfortunately, there are some things in life you cannot and will not have control over – regardless of how hard you try to force things to go your way. Some things in life must be left to chance because whether or not you believe yourself to be leaving them up to chance, in reality there is no other way.

You may be spending much of your time, energy, and thoughts figuring out ways to manipulate the system – to hack it in your favor. You may, with all your force, try to move the mountain, but mountains cannot be moved. They can be broken, but never relocated.

You have no choice but to leave some things to chance. The hard part is accepting this and moving on. Finding a person to love and spend your life with is arguably the most important part of life. It’s also the most difficult – or so most of us believe.

The truth is that because finding a partner is basically out of your control, finding that person is a passive act. You don’t go looking and find that person. You simply find him or her – or he or she finds you. I’m not one to put much faith in things outside myself, but in this case, faith is the only true option.

You have to believe that you will, sooner or later, find the person for you. You have to keep your eyes open, not searching for it, but making sure that you pay close enough attention so that when that person does make it into your life, you know that you've found it. That’s the real problem with us. We are too busy trying to find the person we believe we will love that we almost certainly pass over potential candidates.

We predetermine the type of individual we believe we will love instead of allowing ourselves to interact with others and find out whether or not they are lovable. We imagine an ideal, thinking that we will find it, not understanding that just because we imagined them doesn’t mean they exist.

Searching for someone to love never works. You simply can’t force such a thing. With all the variables at play when it comes to two separate human beings, the equation for finding your true love is out of your reach – you simply cannot calculate the outcome of any relationship. Nor should you try, as the act of calculating is a variable that must be added to the calculation itself.

All the things that we do and think affect the way that we live our lives, the way that we see the world and the experiences we have. Why bother spending any thoughts on something you have absolutely no control over?

Instead, live your life and be thankful for whatever opportunities come your way. Spend your time and energy bettering yourself and working on those things you do have control over. Spend your thoughts on pondering over life’s biggest mysteries. Work on being happy and healthy because those two things you do have full and complete control over.

Once you reach a point when you are entirely self-sufficient and independent, you’ll find that finding someone to love comes a lot easier. The truth is that the more successful and the better looking you are, the more options you have – especially when it comes to the opposite sex. You do you and your better half will walk into your life on his or her own.

Photo via We Heart It

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