4 Things You Need To Know Before You Can Ever Find The Love You Deserve

by Alyssa Lynn
Ryan Ahern

Disappointment blows. Getting your heart broken sucks. I'm with you, single ladies. It's hard to date in 2016.

We have the debatable topic of online dating. There is social media that keeps us visually up-to-date with our peers on a regular basis. This leads to overanalyzing, overthinking and driving ourselves crazy.

This can lead to relationships ending in disaster before they even start. There is an endless list of rules for texting and calling: How long do you have to wait to send or answer?

The irony is technology pushes us to over-communicate with each other, and this ultimately lead to miscommunication and overreactions. We know what all our friends are doing, thanks to Facebook and Instagram posts.

We stalk live feeds on Snapchat, and they make us feel even more insecure. If you're feeling let down, blindsided or overwhelmingly sad, listen up: Before you can truly love someone else, you first must love yourself.

1. You deserve to be someone's first choice.

You are awesome, and you deserve to be someone's first pick. Just because you're not someone's cup of tea, that doesn't mean you aren't a different person's surf and turf.

This is cliched, I know. But it's true.

Think of your past relationships that didn't work out. Did you question things? Did you try and pick apart why your ex acted a certain way or said something that stuck with you?

You don't need any of that bullsh*t. When you meet the right person, you will be on the same page. You will both be the other person's first pick.

That person will love you for all your strengths and all your weaknesses. We all deserve that.

2. Holding on will only burden you in the long run.

Let it go. Holding on will only prevent you from opening yourself up to potential opportunities.

It will weigh on you, and heavily. This doesn't even affect the person who hurt you. In fact, you're only hurting yourself.

Get over it because you are strong and resilient. Get over it because you are perfectly imperfect.

Take that chip off your shoulder. Toss it and walk away with your head held high.

3. "Feeling lonely" is not the same as "being alone."

If you're still hooked on someone you've ended things with, let me remind you things ended for a reason. It doesn't make it any easier. It still totally sucks, but it's the truth.

Don't fight your true feelings. Rather, allow yourself enough time to completely move on from this person. The more you try and fight it, the longer it will take for you to completely get over that person.

If you jump into a new relationship in the hopes that it will cure you of your heartbreak, know that it will only multiply this emotion. You will not only end up hurting yourself, but you'll also hurt the person you've started a relationship with.

You're not able to give yourself fully when you're still attached to someone else. It is not fair for only one half of the relationship to be entirely committed.

Just because you may feel lonely, that doesn't mean you're alone. Feeling lonely is normal and temporary. You are not alone. You have people who love you and care about you. Don't let one person's rejection affect your other relationships. Don't give that one person the power to interfere in your life. Shake it off.

You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.

― Diane von Furstenberg

4. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.

Think about it. You attract a certain audience thanks to the way you portray yourself. You have to love yourself.

You are awesome. Your imperfections are what make you so unique. Fall in love with yourself. Be a little selfish. Do the things you like.

Do what makes you happy. No one is going to look out for you more than you are. As you begin to love yourself, your relationships with others will fall into place.

A version of this article was originally published on the author's personal blog.