Relationships

Equality In Love: 5 Qualities A Feminist Male Looks For In A Woman

by Eric Santos

I am a straight male, and I am also a feminist.

A feminist is merely one who advocates or supports political, social and economic equality of the genders. Feminists aren’t restricted to only being female.

I just happen to be a man who believes women shouldn’t be paid only 78 cents for every dollar paid to their male counterparts. (Black women make 64 cents and Latina women make 56 cents for every dollar earned by white males.)

I am an advocate of pro-equality for all humans, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation or race.

When it comes to dating, being a feminist male, I tend to be what you would call “not old-fashioned.”

I am attracted to different qualities in a woman, qualities that may be intimidating to other men.

What I look for in a partner is different to what a guy who’s more old-fashioned looks for.

For example, it’s not a requirement that whoever I’m dating needs to know how to cook or clean.

Although it would be convenient, as I’m pretty terrible at both, I’m a grown-ass man and don't expect anyone to have to clean up after me.

In my eyes, there are a plethora of things I look for in a woman more important than being “domesticated.” Here is what a male feminist looks for in a woman:

Someone who's a supportive partner

I am not looking to get into a relationship to dominate someone.

Given that I’m an entrepreneur, I can’t help but make a business analogy: I’m looking for a co-founder, not an employee.

We’re in 2015; both people in a relationship can wear the pants if they damn well feel like doing so.

I am a strong believer that relationships should be a 60/60 effort, meaning both people are contributing their half to the relationship plus another 10 percent for good measure.

A healthy relationship is a support system. For a support system to be truly symbiotic, it needs to be a two-way street.

Someone who speaks her mind

There is a quote that goes something like, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

I don’t want to date someone passive, even if it means we may butt heads on certain things.

I want to date a woman who speaks her mind when she’s passionate about something, or when something bothers her, the same way I would.

If I am doing something that bothers her, I would want her to let me know.

If she has beliefs different from mine, I would want her to be vocal about them without fear of retribution.

I want a woman who speaks her mind and is not concerned with how she is perceived.

Someone who unapologetically chases her dreams

As an entrepreneur, I’m extremely passionate about growing my business. Passion is necessary to become great at anything.

In my opinion, one of the hottest things a woman can do is be ridiculously passionate about something. I personally don’t care if it’s related at all to what I do.

It can be anything: art, singing, athletics, fashion, fitness, education, writing or whatever they choose, as long as they are passionate about it.

I will always be unapologetically chasing my dreams, and I want to be with someone who is doing the same.

I am looking for someone to support my dreams just as much as I support hers.

When you’re in a healthy relationship, both partners should establish themselves as supportive figures in each other’s lives.

Someone who stimulates me intellectually

Although I’d like to be with someone educated, being with someone intelligent that challenges the way I think is more important.

I’ve dated women with all kinds of backgrounds, from a NASA engineer to someone who only has her GED.

Although education is usually a great indicator of someone who can stimulate you intellectually, it’s not always conclusive.

In the film “Good Will Hunting,” Robin Williams defined a soul mate as “someone who challenges you.”

Although I believe the definition of a soul mate encompasses some additional facets, someone who challenges you is definitely part of it.

A feminist male wants to be able to date someone who challenges him and helps him see the world in a different perspective.

This person is also usually someone he can't see his world without.

Someone who makes me laugh

When I look back at the women I dated who I had strong feelings for, one trait that was apparent in all of them was their ability to make me laugh.

It doesn’t matter how attractive or intelligent someone is if she doesn't have a sense of humor.

Life is short. When all is said and done, we all just want to have had more good days than bad days. Laughter contributes to your overall quality of life.

When you meet someone who can make you laugh, can remove any fear, anxiety or regret you may have or who you can talk to all night until the sun comes up, don’t take her for granted.