So it's your first time having sex with a new person and you're excited and you know it's going to be great but part of you is... well, part of you is scared.
What if he has an STI? What if he doesn't like to use condoms? Did I remember to wax? What if I'm bad in bed? What if he's too aggressive for me? What if I can't have an orgasm? What if he's into freaky weird things that I'm not into?
Or maybe you are just an alien who goes into having sex cool as a cucumber every time. The fact of the matter is human beings are awkward and we all have awkward weird insecurities about everything, ESPECIALLY sex.
Here are the top 10 fears for both genders:
The researchers conducted their study by having respondents fill out a survey, ranking each sex-related fear on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most worrisome).
In general, the top two fears were not exactly shocking. People ranked contracting an STI and getting pregnant as their top two biggest fears when it comes to having sex. Are you surprised? Didn't think so.
And here they are broken down by gender:
After they had their respondents rank their fears, they were able to pinpoint the top 10 fears for each gender.
The top three fears for women all involve some sort of potential consequence: your partner not wanting to wear a condom, contracting an STI or the condom breaking.
While men also share the fears of contracting STIs and sex resulting in unplanned pregnancy, their second highest fear was surprisingly that their partners would not have orgasms/would not be satisfied. That same fear ranked way down at eighth place for women.
Something else I found interesting was that while not having an orgasm yourself was ninth in terms of fears women have about sex, not having an orgasm didn't even rank in the top 10 for men.
Another thing women worry about that doesn't seem to be a concern for men? Their partners not taking "no" for an answer or asking them to do something they aren't comfortable with. Sad... but understandable.
On the other hand, men seem to share a fear that honestly never even crossed my mind: it being awkward after sex. Which, for some reason, really cracks me up. But I guess, good to know. If you really want to make your man feel at ease, up your post-coitus small talk game.
For the most part, what's important to remember is that we all have fears. So next time you're about to do the dirty with a new partner, just take a breather and remember he's probably freaking out about giving you an O just as much as you're freaking out about having one.