The Stars Are Blind: 4 Ways Believing In Fate F*cks Up Your Love Life
The concept of fate is a funny thing.
For us believers (the hopeless romantics and such), our steadfast credence in it dictates the course of our actions.
But, how exactly are we supposed to act when it comes to finding love? How much, if at all, should we let the hypothetical capabilities of the universe interfere?
Believing in a predetermined love life is akin to having faith in a god; we end up leaving a lot, possibly too much, up to chance.
Unlike attaining the perfect job, which requires hard work and perseverance, finding love is more abstract.
It isn’t as ludicrous to think our love lives will just work themselves out on their own time.
After all, if there's anything I've learned from being in love, it's that we can’t help whom we fall for.
But still, holding out until fate kicks in ends up messing with our love lives more than it helps them:
It makes us overanalyze our relationships.
We sabotage our romantic relationships before they even get a chance to bloom; we figure that if we have to put in a ton of work, then he mustn’t be "the one."
Fate wouldn’t make us labor for love, would it?
To what extent should we have to go to make sure a relationship is running smoothly before it can be deemed unfit?
A belief in fate makes us run in circles in our minds, and we usually end up out of breath and nowhere.
It prevents us from taking leaps of faith.
Aversion is the tactic you choose when it comes to that cute guy you see on the subway. If he and you were really meant to be, he would come up to you.
He’d write you a romantic note and slip it under your seat when you weren’t looking, and you’d find it, go home, pen something equally heart-melting, then scour the city endlessly in search of him.
But that doesn't happen — like, ever — and you realize two things: one, that life isn’t a movie, and two, you’re either just indecisive or lazy.
It gives us tunnel vision for our careers.
Though this ramification may not necessarily be a bad one, it definitely signifies an imbalance, nonetheless.
You focus on doing you because fate says actively looking for Mr. Right isn’t an option.
You kick ass at your day job, get your nails and hair did and pay your bills, but all the while, you’re letting missed connections slip through your fingers.
What ever happened to the age-old struggle between your professional and personal life?
The fact that you're in romantic pursuit of no one doesn't register until you find yourself talking about work — and only work — on a Saturday night regularly.
It makes for awkward dinner conversation.
When prying family members ask why you haven’t met anyone yet, well, you aren’t exactly sure how to answer.
Is “the stars haven’t marked my love life down in their calendars yet” an acceptable answer?
Unfortunately, attempting to use this as a viable excuse for why you’re still single makes you sound a little, er, neurotic.
And, if you do choose this go-to as your protective shield, you'll get picked on by your parents and grandparents and won't hear the end of it.
Being sworn to fate is dangerous and it affects us in ways we might not even notice.
But, the other thing about believing that some unseen higher power will decide it all for us?
Well, it's really quite poetic, if you ask me.