Relationships

Why Falling Out Of Love Is So Much Harder Than Falling In Love

by Francisco Alvarez

These days, it doesn't take much to grab someone's attention.

A quick gaze across a room, a meeting through a mutual friend or even running across each other's profiles online can do the trick.

Although I don't want you to label me as a believer of love at first sight just yet, I have been known to grow immediately attracted to some people right after initially meeting them.

I'm sure I'm not alone in that department.

You have to admit, there's something in the air when you come across intriguing personalities.

Noticeable people like this tend to give off a certain vibe and an aura of greatness that, in your eyes, is very difficult to ignore.

You don't necessarily know what it is, but you're certain there's something there; you're now adamant on investigating it. Let's face it: You probably owe it to yourself.

The first couple of weeks of any relationship are magical. You're blowing up your phones, you catch yourself daydreaming about one another and you make up any ridiculous excuse just to see each other. I get it, I've been there. It's a great feeling.

But, there's a flip side to every coin.

For argument's sake, we'll fast forward a little bit. We'll assume that initial connection has turned into an exclusive relationship and you've been seeing that certain someone for the better part of a year.

Everything leading up to this point has been smooth sailing, and your definition of a successful connection is peachy.

But, a short time after this pinnacle, you begin seeing some red flags coming from your partner.

Changes in behavioral patterns, unusual time management or even an unforeseen positive transformation can all fall under this category, and, more likely than not, it will catch your attention.

Then, out of nowhere, you get the "we need to talk" text.

Is this the reason John has been working late this entire week? Might this explain why Jane has been extending her gym sessions?

Let's face it: For most of us, being the recipient of that message can only mean one thing, and in most cases, it represents the inevitable end of a relationship… or does it?

Here's the deal: Aside from a sunrise, nothing happens overnight. You can sit there and tell your significant other that you didn't see it coming, but barring any crazy circumstance, chances are, he or she won't buy that excuse.

All relationships share one thing in common: They take time and effort on a daily basis.

Sure, we screw up from time to time, but does that mean you should give up on someone at the drop of a hat? Absolutely not. That would be asinine.

You remember playing with silly putty as a kid? I sure do.

Much like silly putty, relationships can be molded so both parties involved can be happy with their respective partners.

We learn from one another as we go, so that means every day is a chance to make things better.

Often, we squander these opportunities when, in reality, they're the ones that will take things to the next level.

We can't keep shooting ourselves in the foot and then wonder why things are on the decline.

Achieving a great relationship is no easy task, and attaining that status will take everything you have, not only as an individual, but as a team player, too.

Compromise, dedication and patience are all key aspects tested under a successful union, and a lack of any of these attributes will send your relationship into a downward spiral.

Regardless of whether you're a guy or girl, the following talking points are, in my personal opinion, the three most popular reasons why people these days are falling out of love sooner than expected.

Think of it as a checklist to avoid so you don't have to endure the painful heartbreak that accompanies having to part ways.

I would hate for all the hard work you've put in to go in vain.

Applying these to your current relationship will have a long-lasting effect, not only in duration, but in quality, too.

Communication is indispensable in any relationship. You've heard (and been told) that you're not a mind-reader plenty of times by now, so making this mistake over and over again is starting to become a decision.

Your partner isn't going to know whether or not you enjoy going to your in-laws, like his or her cooking or think highly of his or her job if you don't open your mouth.

You'd be surprised by the high level you'd reach in your relationship if you just freely communicated your feelings to one another.

It's no surprise that as human beings, we tend to get comfortable when something in our lives makes its presence felt on a consistent basis.

With this in mind, we need to find the urge to put our figurative feet in the air, kick back and relax when it comes to our relationships.

A few months down the road, it will be tempting to think that your partner pretty much knows everything important about you; this can lead to a certain degree of complacency and can take a mental toll on both of you.

As a preventive measure, try to keep the fire burning. Don't lose that desire to know more; become passionately curious.

Now that we're grown adults, most of us fall under a category that needs to adhere to a distinct ritual that works for us.

This ritual is primordially composed of habits and patterns that we become accustomed to in order to be satisfied with our own definitions of progress.

More often than not, our significant others need to make adjustments to make things work.

While things may become tedious in the beginning, they have a strong chance of panning out in the long run.

As we get to know each other, we become in tune with our likes and dislikes.

In what may appear to be the blink of an eye, your guy or girl could suddenly grow tired of hitting the movies every Friday night, dining at the same corner restaurant or having to deal with your hobbies.

When you feel as if things are getting redundant, mix things up.

Becoming predictable is a relationship killer, so that's why it's important to be spontaneous every once in a while and branch out together.

Falling out of love will forever be an arduous process and one that can be easily prevented if your heart is in the right place.

If what you want is stability, companionship and a holding hand as you walk this path we call life, then relationships are definitely for you.

I'm not saying there won't be speed bumps along the way, but applying the aforementioned advice will soften the blow of any adversity.

By now, your love life has probably endured one, maybe even two breakups, so you know the emotional turmoil that it stirs within you.

My recommendation? Take action.

You don't want to be the girl looking up #lovequotes on Instagram while having ice cream for dinner, or the guy calling his bros on a Tuesday to meet at the bar when you don't even drink.

Bottom line: Don't worry about the fact that you are screaming at each other and pulling your hair out.

Worry about the days it stops happening; that means there's nothing left to fight for.