As as well known dating coach in the UK, I help people find love each day. Many of them choose to do this through online dating, which can be one of the very best and fastest ways to meet a partner. Unfortunately, I regularly see singles making the same big mistakes online that are sabotaging their success rates.
If you are following the same strategy as them, it will ultimately end up in disappointment and low quality dates. So to help you succeed, I've put together my dating expert list of the most common mistakes online daters are making.
If some ring alarm bells for you, then it's time to change things up so you can finally blast away your competition and get more dates than you can handle.
1. Choosing The Wrong Site
So many sites, so little time. If you start using the wrong online dating site, you'll be wasting your time before you've even started. There's nothing worse than setting everything up only to find there are no eligible members in your area.
Do some research and ask your friend what sites they recommend, or at the very least find one you've heard or read about before.
2. Sticking To Free Sites
When you first try online dating, you might naturally be a little reluctant to make a payment until you've tested it out. That's why free sites can offer a great introduction to how they work. The problem is, if you want to meet someone serious about dating, you need to use a serious site. If members are paying to find partners, you can bet they are much more likely to want to go on a date. Paid sites can afford to pay for better features and moderation too, meaning less time wasters and very few scammers.
3. Using A Terrible Photo
I see so many people use awful photos on their online dating profiles. It never ceases to shock me. Photos with them wearing hats, sunglasses or badly cropped should all be avoided. Avoid the dreaded “selfie” shot that you've taken with your camera phone in the mirror. Nothing says loser with no friends more than that.
If you don't have a good one, there's no excuse. Just ask a friend to take one for you, and remember to smile.
4. Writing A Boring Profile
If you read a lot of online dating profiles like I do, you'll see the same things over and over again. Lots of generic comments, lame jokes and pathetic statements about how you can't believe you are having to do this.
Yes, I know it can be hard to sell yourself and you want to write something quickly so you can get started. But if you don't take the time to write an interesting profile you won't stand out from everyone else. Negative comments make you sound like a miserable person, so always be upbeat.
5. Sending Out Copied And Pasted Messages
This is one of the worst things you can do. Rather than write carefully crafted messages, many people bizarrely choose to send the same two or three line message to everyone.
These messages are obvious to spot and will get deleted before they've even glanced at your profile. It just looks like you can't be bothered to make an effort at all.
Find something you have in common or liked about them and let them know. If you make them feel like an individual I guarantee you'll get a lot more replies.
6. Never Asking Someone For A Date
Many people make the massive mistake of being afraid to ask the other person out on a date. So you end up taking for days, weeks or even months. Did you really set out to find a pen pal or a love interest?
My advice is to ask them for a phone number after a few messages. Once you've got that, talk on the phone and get to know them better … then sort out your first date. Everyone is online for the same purpose of getting dates. If you don't show interest and ask them, you can bet someone else will. Before you know it, it's game over.
7. Giving Up Too Soon
So you've sent out lots of messages, but not have much interest back yet? Or maybe you've been out on a few dates but nothing has really come of it. This is where so many people sadly give up and tell themselves it doesn't work. That's a huge mistake.
I do hope my advice has shown you what you need to do in order to success online. Remember, a few small tweaks can make a huge difference. Good luck and happy dating!
To read more expert advice on dating from James Preece, check out his website www.jamespreece.com.