5 Excuses You Make When You Don't Want To Believe You Were Ghosted

by Cosmo Luce

It's not that being ghosted is as big of a blow to the ego as, say, somebody telling you to your face that they were only passing time with you because they were bored and never had any intention of hanging out with you IRL.

Still, even if you were only hanging out with someone on one or two occasions, getting dropped out of the blue can still sting. That's why it's always better to err on the side of honesty and open communication!

The most important thing to remember is that it's not you, it's definitely them.

And because "ghosting" means both everything and nothing at the same time, it could be that the reason for their disappearance is a little more complicated than just not liking you.

Hey, it's always fun to imagine, right?

1. He Didn't Ghost Me, He Just Lost My Number

OK, so maybe their little face-bubble has gone away from your Tinder queue, along with any messages you both sent in between your two weeks of steady contact. And maybe he isn't answering your texts anymore, and when you call, it switches right over to voicemail.

But Mercury is in retrograde, and you know that impairs people's communication skills. Technology is separating you by temporarily insurmountable obstacles that will only bring you closer together when you find each other again.

No, he didn't un-match you. He just deactivated Tinder because you guys had met up and had so much chemistry that he wasn't interested in meeting anyone else!

And he's not ignoring your text messages. He's in the woods on a spiritual retreat to finish up his new album, and there isn't any cell service. Or internet for email. Or mail service.

When he gets back to civilization, he's going to be so happy to hear how much you've missed him. Sure, go ahead. Give him one more call to see if he answers.

2. She's Playing A Practical Joke!

Silly dunce! She told you she wanted to meet up at Chili's, and you took her seriously! Did you forget that she has a wicked sense of humor? I know, I know. You wanted to impress her and seem "chill" and "laid back" and "totally fine with ordering off the Triple Dipper™ menu."

Man, you two are really going to laugh about your sincerity the next time you meet up!

Hm, she's not answering her phone. Haha! What a mild inconvenience! I'm sure she'll get back to you in the next five minutes.

Meanwhile, I think you can still sneak in a drink before happy hour ends.

3. He Did Say He Had To Travel 90 Percent Of The Year For Work...

I'm not saying that your Tinder hottie wasn't actually working for the American consulate, interviewing refugees who want to come into the country, and I don't mean to suggest that he was lying when he said that he sometimes only gets 12 hours notice before he has to board a plane.

All I'm saying is, he could have given you a little bit of notice first.

No, no, I don't think he's ghosting. I mean, your last date went great. He did mention that his ex was coming back to town for a visit, but I'm sure he's totally over her.

Besides, he won't even have time to meet up with her, being that he's had to jet off to Azerbaijan on such short notice. Everyone knows that not all cell phone carriers work overseas.

I know! You can get him an international cell phone for his birthday, so this miscommunication doesn't ever happen again in the course of the long life you will live together. It's only six months away, and I'm sure your relationship will have progressed to the next level by then.

4. He's Definitely In The Witness Protection Program For Espionage

I'm sure there's a good reason that he not only deleted his Tinder, but also his Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. If someone has to unexpectedly go undercover, they're probably going to have to throw away all forms of communication first, right? Doesn't the NSA track that?

So maybe the last time you called him, you did end up speaking to someone who identified themselves as "his wife." But that was totally all to throw the government off his trail! Isn't it exciting to be caught up in so much intrigue?

OK, I admit, it is a little weird that he cut off all contact as soon as he asked you for $1,000, and you texted back, "Lolol are u scamming me? ;)" But you know, he probably needed to get that to his safe house.

5.  She Broke Both Of Her Thumbs, Probably

Think it's impossible for somebody to break two thumbs on opposite hands at once? Well, what if they're a gymnast? Or a stunt double? Or an ambidextrous gallery attendant who happened to hit herself with a hammer while hanging some art? Twice?

I'm sure she's thinking of you right now as she sits with her hands, desperately trying to text you to no avail.

Oh, and she also has laryngitis, simultaneously. Since she can't come to the phone right now, you should probably show up on her doorstep.

Good idea. Pick up some chicken soup and drive over to her place. I'm sure she'll find that very thoughtful. No, no. It's not creepy at all! I wouldn't lie to you.