Why It's Easier To Forgive When You're Someone's First Love

by Vica Bugrimenko

There’s something about knowing you’re loved.

Knowing that someone is constantly thinking about you and waiting to see you can put a smile on your face without the other person even lifting a finger.

It’s the warmest feeling in this world and we all crave it; it’s human nature.

There’s something about passionate, crazy, amazing love, but those three words can hold an immense amount of power.

You could have the healthiest relationship in the world, but you’re just as exposed to being hurt as the rest of us, if not more so.

Although every situation differs and some choose to forgive while others choose to leave, you’ll likely face at least one heart-wrenching moment in each relationship.

Sometimes, you'll be forced to weigh your emotional state against the potential future of your relationship when both of you are suffering. You'll have to decide for yourself whether you're able to forgive and even more, to forget.

There are endless factors floating in your head, like the amount of time you’ve spent, the amount of effort you've devoted, the amount you love your partner, the amount he or she loves you, the amount of mistakes you've made, the amount of smiles and laughs he or she has brought you and the amount you’re willing to put up with.

It’s easy to get caught up in your own thoughts without considering how someone else is feeling.

Once you put yourself in your partner's shoes, however, everything changes. One factor to consider is whether or not you’re his or her first love.

This can play a giant role in your head and your heart, and it instantly becomes a slightly lighter burden. Here's why:

Lack Of Experience

When it’s your second time around (or even your third or fourth), you are easily more experienced than someone who is experiencing the raw emotions of love for the first time.

You are more careful, more considerate and more cautious of the moves you make.

You have experienced real pain, especially the tragic loss of losing your first love, but you have also gained an incredible understanding of do's and don’ts.

Your partner really has no idea what to expect, but you’ve already felt the jealousy, the ecstasy, the heartbreak, the anger and everything in between.

How can you hold your significant other to the same standards when you’re a returning player and he or she is just a rookie?

The Best-Friend Clause

You may not have been best friends when you first started dating, but if you’re not when you’re in love, you’re doing it wrong.

You share secrets, inside jokes, blankets, kisses, memories and simple bliss; who wants to lose that?

Your level of care for this person becomes impossible to measure, so when he or she messes up, you’re conflicted in wanting to scold or guide him or her.

Sure, he or she will learn if you leave, but if it’s something you can move past, you can save yourself the heartbreak and help transform him or her into an even better SO.

If he or she were to mess up with someone, wouldn’t you prefer it be you?

Hypocritical Anger

Sometimes, you want to forgive this person solely because you wish someone had forgiven you when you made a similar mistake.

In the vast experience and knowledge you’ve acquired of relationships, you have done your fair share of hurting and f*cking up, too.

Someone has probably left you when you hurt him or her, leaving you wishing you had a second chance to make things right.

So, you think twice upon coming to this conflicted junction: You’re pissed and you’re sad, but you’re also guilty of making the same mistake at some point in your life.

You may not be forgiving for the right reasons, but letting go instead of holding grudges can make a relationship that much better in the long run.

This isn’t applicable to all situations, as some mistakes hurt a lot more than others — especially when they’re intentional.

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve, but if your significant other made a not-so-terrible decision, give him or her a break.

He or she is still learning how to play the game