First dates are never easy.
There are the nerves, the awkward vibes, the absurd amount of outfits tried on and, of course, the pre-date social media stalking.
(Forget Facebook; is his LinkedIn profile up to par?)
I'm in my early 20s, so the dating stories I hear from my girlfriends can be pretty varied.
Of course, hardly any of them are close to perfect. Some are good, some are bad and some are ugly.
What they all have in common, however, is that first dates are like job interviews.
You just want to skip over them so you can become acclimated, score the job (or in this case, the man) and get past all the nerves.
If the interview doesn't go well, sayonara.
However, do you calm your nerves before your first job interview with a Skinnygirl margarita or a large pour of pinot noir? Let's hope not.
Unless you're interviewing to become the next "Real Housewife," interviews are best sans booze.
So, if we compare dates to job interviews, why do we blur out our first dates with a few pre-date libations?
I'm sure you're wondering, "So I can't sip on a glass of sauv blanc with my roommates, while I blow-dry and straighten my hair?"
Before you go and write me off as Debbie Downer, I'm here to say I'm all about a fun little glass to sip on before the man arrives.
Trust me. My friends call me the cocktail connoisseur.
However, getting a good buzz on before the man rings the doorbell may not be your answer to curing the first-date jitters.
Whether you have a first date scheduled for the weekend or have no dates panned out in your future, I have a list of reasons why sober first dates will help you find Mr. Right and carve your way through the Mr. Wrongs:
1. You will notice a real connection, not a drunken one.
Cocktails have a tricky way of making you feel like you have a connection with everyone.
Any time I imbibe, I have these sneaky little "goggles" that make every man attractive in my eyes.
I'm not just talking about looks here. Boring men can start sounding like Jimmy Fallon with a few good stiff ones.
You don't want to leave the date thinking you liked the guy when you really had nothing in common.
If you go into the first date with a clear mind, you will know whether or not you want to continue seeing him or not after it's over.
2. You will leave feeling more confident than ever.
You know that saying, "Tequila makes you look better, act funnier and dance better?"
Well, that is one big, fat myth.
I assure you going into a date without getting drunk will certainly make you leave more confident.
Even if you think you're awkward without the booze, there is nothing more awkward than a drunk woman on a first date.
3. You will forgo the embarrassment the morning after.
There will be zero (and I repeat zero) worries about anything the next day.
You will know what you did, as you were being yourself. The alcohol did not do any of the talking.
I have had a few friends go on first dates who then felt they blew it after one too many dirty martinis.
There won't be any mistakes if you stick to one. I promise.
4. You will earn his respect.
Whether you like the guy or not, he will certainly have respect for you when the night ends.
Recently, a guy I am friends with went out on a date with a woman he actually thought was cute, perky and fun.
However, she was completely tanked on the date itself.
Let me tell you this: There was no second date planned, and she didn't earn his respect.
5. You will have much better conversations.
Have you ever been a little tipsy and repeated the same conversation twice?
Well, I have heard of it happening multiple times on first dates.
(I may have even fallen victim to this. However, it wasn't on a date.)
If you want exciting and intelligent conversations, skipping the buzz will give you the thrill of the talk.
You will also notice more of the kinds of conversations he can make.
Did the conversation flow? Were there awkward silences?
You will be more aware when you stick to one glass.
6. Second dates are always more likely to happen.
This one explains itself. You will be getting a call or text back if you stick to being sober.
7. No drunken hookups or makeouts will happen.
Ever make the mistake of getting a little too frisky on the first date?
That won't happen if you hold back on the bottle of pinot.
You will leave with your lipstick intact and your pants buttoned. (Note the fourth point.)
8. You may wake up with a bad first-date hangover, but you will have zero signs of alcohol hangover.
Even if it's the worst date of your life, I guarantee you will still wake up feeling physically healthy.
Take your cute, little, non-hungover butt to the gym and sweat out the non-boozy, bad-date vibes.
A good workout always heals all.
Who knows? Maybe you'll score another date at the gym.