Why You Don't Need To Get Married To Prove You Truly Love Someone

by Paul Hudson

I couldn’t care less whether or not I ever find a wife. I do, however, want nothing more than to find someone I can grow to love more than life itself. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but they aren’t mutually inclusive, either -- finding one doesn’t necessitate or guarantee the other.

There are plenty of married individuals who don’t love their husbands or wives, just like there are plenty of unmarried couples who love each other more than they love themselves.

You don’t need to get married -- you may want to get married, but it isn’t necessary in order to maintain a loving relationship. Proposing and getting married doesn’t prove your love for the person, either.

All it proves is, at this moment in your life, you believe you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Moments pass. Continuing to feel the same the next moment isn’t promised. Few things in life are.

It’s obvious there's little security when it comes to marriage.

Most people feel the need to get married because they're looking for some sort of guarantee -- a guarantee their lovers will stay with them for the rest of their lives. I guess some people have never heard of divorce... or the insanely high divorce rate.

It may be a frightening thought, but you can lose the love of your life at any given moment. More than that, you will eventually lose them, or they, you; it’s inevitable. It's what makes the time you have together and the love you share so special.

Marriage doesn’t make losing your lover any less likely. In fact, you could make the argument it increases your chances of failing to keep the relationship intact. If you’re looking for guarantees in life, look elsewhere... when it comes to people, there are none.

Marriage has a knack for turning happy relationships into unhappy marriages.

We’ve all heard the stories… happy couple gets married; sex drive diminishes, arguments ensue, and both parties are less happy than they were prior to saying "I do."

If you think about human nature, you’ll notice one thing every human being in the history of our species has ever looked for in life is freedom.

We all want to be free, whether from physical chains or metaphorical ones. We always want to have a choice, always have options, always be in control of our lives.

Marriage doesn’t necessarily need to make you feel trapped, but it often ends up being the case. Most people either feel tied down and spend most of their time figuring a way out of their imagined confines or they get too comfortable and allow the relationship to rot slowly over the ages.

Thinking you’ll spend your life with someone is a bit frightening regardless of whether or not marriage is involved. Getting married, however, can make you feel more committed than any other type of arrangement.

Sometimes it’s better to avoid putting yourself in a situation that may lead you to make stupid decisions. It may all just be in your head… but so is the rest of your reality.

Proving you love someone isn’t a one-time act -- it’s something you need to prove over and over, every day.

Marriage often tricks people into believing they’ve reached the end of their journeys. On the contrary, nothing could be further from the truth.

Your life together started way before you decided to tie the knot and will continue long afterward. Hopefully.

It may seem silly, but everyone needs reassurances from time to time. People are fickle creatures. We grow and change. We can be moody, lazy, unappreciative and inconsiderate on occasion -- some more often than others. Sharing your life does require you to actually share your life with someone.

The problem is we’re also egocentric beings who can only perceive reality through our own eyes. Keeping the balance between self and couple can prove to be difficult.

We sometimes need to distance ourselves and get space. It’s important, during such moments, we communicate to our partners that we still love them, and we're simply giving ourselves what we need.

Since a marriage isn’t necessary for love to manifest, it’s only adding an unnecessary complication to your lives.

The only real benefits of marriage are financial ones. Other than that, marriage is just like any other relationship.

If you didn’t need to get married to fall in love, then why would you feel the need to get married to keep your love alive? Because it's the goal, isn’t it? To keep the love you two share burning for the rest of your lives.

Personally (and maybe this is just me), but I don’t see how marriage helps you achieve that goal.

Many individuals simply want to get married for the sake of tradition or religion or because their family -- and society as a whole, really -- expects them to.

Your life is almost certainly already complicated enough. Why make things more difficult for yourself?

Why not just live and love?

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