When your heart gets broken, it’s never easy to deal with. In the beginning, it feels as if you’ll never get over it. Every little thing reminds you of him or her. You can’t even watch your favorite television shows anymore because you two used to watch them together.
Finally, the day comes when you see the light and you are over your ex. Even though the grieving process was hard, you survived, right?
A breakup is tough no matter which end you are on. However, a breakup is never a bad thing. Listen, I’m not crazy, I swear. Allow me to break down several different types of terrible relationship endings to elaborate.
Hold your tongue before you think I’m off my rocker.
1. The He/She-Cheated Breakup
You were cheated on — that’s why the relationship ended. I know I am saying that very lightheartedly, but I promise you, it’s not. Coming from someone who was cheated on more than once in absolutely horrendous ways, I think cheaters are the biggest cowards of all.
If you don’t know how this feels, I am very, very happy for you. It basically feels like everything in the world was a lie and the only love that exists is found in Disney movies with princes who kiss you back to life from an eternal sleep.
There is a bright side to this situation, though: The person you were dating sucks. He or she was definitely not what you expected and was definitely not what you wanted. So, why would you want to waste any additional time being with him or her?
Be happy your partner messed up because honestly, he or she is doing you a GIANT favor.
2. The You-Cheated Breakup
I won’t be bitter here, don’t worry. Mistakes happen and no one is perfect, we all get that. But, there is a reason behind your infidelity. It’s not like you woke up one morning and decided, “Today I think I’m gonna f*ck someone who's not my significant other.”
I mean, maybe that was your logic, but I certainly hope not. Anyway, there is some motivation behind why people cheat and whatever that motivation is, it says something. Whether it says something about your relationship or you, you need to work on that before you can commit to someone else.
Maybe you cheated because you aren’t in love with your girlfriend or boyfriend, and your infidelity opened your eyes to that. Yes, you did hurt someone, but it is saving both of you more hurt in the long run if the alternative was sticking around "just because."
3. The You’re-Bored Breakup
You’ve been dating for a while and the spark is just gone. Hanging out with one another becomes something you dread, rather than something to which you look forward. When you do see each other, it’s just not fun anymore. This shouldn’t happen and doesn’t always happen.
When you are with someone for a while, you become comfortable, but not bored, which are two completely different things. If you’re bored, just leave.
Doing so prepares you for your next relationship, shows you what you want and what you don’t want, and can even show you what you did wrong and how to prevent it from happening again.
4. The You-Can’t-Get-Over-The-Past Breakup
I am sure a lot of us are familiar with this. To quote Drake, “Trust Issues.”
Whether it is with this particular partner or maybe a past one, when your trust is broken in any way, it can be hard to move forward. You shouldn’t take your past out on a new partner, but sometimes, you just can’t help it.
I believe the past is especially hard to move on from when it involves the same person you are still trying to date.
For example, if your boyfriend hooked up with your best friend (now-ex-best-friend) in high school, how are you supposed to just get over that? Who cares if it was five years ago! Sometimes, stuff is just hard to really move on from.
Why dwell on a past you cannot change? If you can’t get over it, end the relationship. It will save you both many arguments.
5. The-Relationship-Is-Toxic Breakup
Have you ever cared for someone so much, but just couldn’t get the relationship to work? Yeah, that’s the universe trying to send you a message.
If it doesn’t work and you have absolutely no idea why, you should probably stop trying to figure it out. I am not saying that just because you love someone, a relationship should work, since that’s not necessarily the case.
But, if you love someone and that someone loves you back, and when you are together, the world is all rainbows and butterflies, why can’t you just be girlfriend and boyfriend? The relationship is toxic, that's why.
Walk away and find someone who is proud to hold your hand in public, not someone who only hangs out with you at 12 am. That’s a booty call, not a bae.
6. The You-Love-Someone-Else-Or-Just-Aren’t-Ready Breakup
This can be related to number four (see above). If you're potentially still in love with your ex, why jump into something else? That’s usually called a rebound. Yes, sometimes they do work out, but not always.
Even if you’re ex sucks and you still love him or her, that doesn’t mean you necessarily suck. You just need time. No matter what people say, not everyone can relate to the saying that the only way you can get over someone is if you get under someone else.
Being in a new relationship when you aren’t ready can hurt you and your new partner. You shouldn’t put this person through that just because you haven't yet figured out what you want.
7. The Mutual Breakup
This is pretty much self-explanatory, but I will elaborate. A mutual breakup obviously means both parties don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, for whatever reason.
This is probably the best breakup scenario ever. Absolutely everyone wins! No hard feelings for anyone! Just keep it clean and move on.
A breakup is never something bad. It may feel like the end of the world, but only temporarily. Once you accept that your breakup was a blessing in disguise, you can go to your ex’s Instagram page and laugh about his/her total downgrade of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Or, you can just live a very happy, carefree single life.
Whatever you decide, remember, you couldn’t have gotten to this good place without navigating some obstacles.