Every relationship means something, even the ones that seem pointless. You are drawn to certain people for specific reasons. The most dysfunctional relationship can help you discover what you actually need out of life and love. They can also help you break old patterns and heal childhood wounds.
When you ask "does my relationship mean something?” it's important that you examine what you mean by "something." Are you wondering whether your relationship is as significant to your partner as it is to you? Or does "something" mean true love — meaning that there is intimacy, passion, and commitment?
To be clear, a relationship doesn't have to have all three of those qualities in order to be significant and meaningful. However, when a relationship does have deep attraction, a strong sense of attachment, and a willingness to maintain the relationship so that it can grow, it does feel deeper. Here's how:
1. They Are Proud Of One Another
People in deeply meaningful relationships give one another room for their dreams. This kind of couple believes they were both built to fly, and they support one another unconditionally. They know there is room for both of them to have all the success they dream of in the world.
When one of them succeeds, the other's chest swells with pride. There is no need to tiptoe around accomplishments for fear of bruising one partner's ego. In a truly loving relationship, each person understands that a win for one person is a win for the whole relationship.
In this kind of meaningful relationship, one partner never cuts the other down or tries to make them smaller to fit into a narrow box that they have built for them. They want their partner to grow and are able to provide them with the tenderness and the nourishing foundation that they need to succeed.
2. They Love To Do Nothing
When you are in a truly loving relationship, then you and your partner can lay about on the couch, watching Netflix and eating take out, and be perfectly content. You don't feel pressure to go out, see, and be seen. You might have had a phase where you spent all of your time together in bed, but after that, a deep sense of companionship and friendship set in.
While you are physically intimate, you also love to sit and talk with one another about the small facts of your days. Your conversations are as heartfelt as those you have with your best friend — but your partner also doesn't replace your best friend. You still have time to cultivate those important friendships. Doing nothing with your partner doesn't take up all of your time.
You know that you and your partner have nothing to prove to one another. You have just as much fun staying home as you do going out and showing one another off. Compromising comes easily, too, and you know it isn't a sacrifice or "settling" for something less than what you want. You want to be together, and you don't really care how.
3. They Are One Another's Haven From The World
In a truly loving, meaningful relationship, you and your partner provide one another with sanctuary. When a crisis happens, they are the first person you go to because you know that they will make you feel safe. You can talk through all of the troubles of the day or the world at large, and feel grounded by one another's presence.
In addition to offering one another a safe space, there is also room for forgiveness in your relationship. Neither of you are perfect, and you will slip up from time to time, and hurt or offend one another. Even when you do make a mistake, a loving, meaningful relationship allows you to talk through the issues and work out a solution. There are no grudges because each person recognizes that the other is human, and can let go of grievances.
4. They Are Attuned To One Another
One of the tell-tale signs of a meaningful relationship is the ability to read through the lines and see past the surface level of what you share with one another. You can pick up on how your partner is feeling intuitively, and you understand when “I'm fine” actually means “I'm upset, but I don't want to talk about it.”
You sometimes feel what your partner is feeling, and this might mean that you carry their sadness with you throughout your day. You might even feel frustrated that you cannot heal them or make them happy if they are going through something difficult.
Even so, you understand that you cannot be your partner's everything, and they need to find clarity on their own. In a loving relationship, you can provide your partner with the space they need to heal themselves.
5. They Are As Transparent As Glass
People in meaningful relationships do not hide any parts of themselves from one another. They are transparent about what they feel and what they are thinking. There is no passive-aggressive signaling in their relationship. They have no secrets and nothing to hide from one another. If there is confusion or miscommunication — because there is always miscommunication — they are able to clear things up with their partner with an open and honest discussion.
People in loving and meaningful relationships don't harbor grudges with each other. They are open about their issues and hangups and are able to work through difficult feelings or complications that arise in their relationship with compromise and conversation. They trust one another completely, and know that whatever they say to one another will be held within the almost sacred space of their relationship.
These kinds of meaningful, truly deep, and loving relationships don't happen all at once. It usually takes years to find a person you can build this level of connection with, so do not despair if you and your partner are not able to do all of these things yet.
One of the aspects of a loving relationship is commitment. As long as you and your partner are fully committed to growing into a future together, then you can work to obtain all of the trappings of the deeply loving relationship you so desire. This is just the start.
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