I live in the suburbs of the nation's capital. A place where driving just a few miles at the wrong time of day, can mean sitting in your car for one or two hours. It's true, traffic in the DC area is an absolute disaster, so when dating, someone even 10 miles away, can take an hour to get to.
Then you throw in work. If you're dating someone on the other side of town, or in the DC metro areas case, maybe a state or district away, staying the night at their place can mean an extra-long trip to work the next day. So you'll find that most people in these types of areas will set the distance in their dating profiles to no more than 10 or 20 miles to keep from matching people “too far away.” It's first world problems for sure, but we live in lazy times.
I was one of these people. I refused to match up with anyone that lived more than 20 miles away. If their profiles showed cities that took me more than 30 minutes to get to, I didn't bother messaging them. I avoided them at all cost. I found, however, that this limited my options to a certain type of person; I was seeing the same traits over and over again. Let's face it: Where people live represents a part of their personality, and the types of personalities I was matching with were not right for me.
So on a whim one day, I decided to move my distance up to 50 miles, still not quite ready to actually date someone that far away. Immediately this profile popped up in my matches. The profile picture was her standing in a sunflower field. Tell me that doesn't scream sweet rays of sunshine. She was beautiful and seemed sweet. Her profile was the portrait of a woman who was a free spirit, with a kind heart and a warm soul.
I was getting ready to message her when I saw where she lived. She was 45 miles away, which meant in traffic, about an hour and a half drive. Being the sometimes lazy Millennial I am, I decided against it. I continued searching, and matching closer people here and there, but every time I went online, her profile would catch my eye. I couldn't escape this woman in the sunflower field
Finally the day after Valentine's Day, I decided to jump off the cliff and I sent her a message. She was extremely beautiful, and a few years younger than me, so I assumed my message would go unanswered. I went on with my day and put it far from my mind. The next morning as I was driving, my phone went off. I looked down and to my surprise, it was her.
We started a conversation online that lasted the rest of the day and into the night. We talked and talked -- about everything. I finally got the courage to ask for her number, and we started texting.
For the next week, we texted all day every day from sun up to sun down. The online attraction was instant, and the conversation was outstanding. Finally, that Friday we set a date. Since we were both a little leery of the distance, we decided to meet halfway at a local dive bar for a drink. The date was going to be on a Sunday, so we decided to meet early.
On Saturday, I woke up to the worst nightmare of anyone getting ready to go on a first date. I looked in the mirror and there it was plain as day, big and gross and swollen: I had a COLD SORE!!!
I immediately started freaking out trying to think of any excuse possible to move the date back a week, but she wasn't having it. I blamed everything in the book, except the real issue, terrified if I told her about this “thing” on my upper lip, she'd never talk to me again.
She was smart enough to know there was more to the story and asked me what was really wrong. I swallowed my pride, prepared myself to be ghosted and I told her about the my little problem. I told her that I didn't want her first time meeting to involve her staring at a big gross sore on my face.
To my surprise, she was okay with it. I was blown away. She wasn't going to let me cancel our date over a little cold sore, so we decided to stick to it.
So on a Sunday evening in February, there I was standing outside of the bar, the sun setting, and a cool chill biting at my neck, when around the corner, there she was. She was in her car and needed to park, so she asked me if I'd get in and park with her.
My nerves were intense. I could almost feel myself shaking. She was 10 times as beautiful in person as she was online. She had blonde hair, blue/green eyes, and this huge smile filled with perfectly straight, pearly white teeth. She was 5 feet 5 inches of heaven, and incredibly sweet. Needless to say, I thought I was hooked.
We spent the next six hours talking and laughing, and complimenting each other over drinks. The bill was quite expensive, but the company was incredible. Over the next month, we met once or twice a week either near her city or mine, and we'd have dinner and drinks and hang out until we absolutely had to get home.
Once we started staying the night together, we worked out the logistics and made it work for us. We'd spend one or two nights a week together, and then the weekends. We were inseparable. When we weren't together we would text or talk on the phone all day.
We found that the distance, brought us closer because we were able to experience the feeling of missing each other. Those feelings only got more intense, the more we fell in love. We also found that the longer we were together, being apart got harder and harder, so we found ways to be together more often.
We now stay together every weekend and most of the week, and will be moving in together soon. We both took a chance extending our distances on our dating profiles and found one another. I wasn't going to find the love of my life, five, 10 or 20 miles away. I found love 50 miles away, and it's the most beautiful love I could ever imagine.
So take a shot, and extend your distance. Take the risk of driving that few extra miles, at the possibility that those few extra minutes on the road, might bring you a happiness that last you a lifetime. It's worth a little extra gas to find a love that last forever.