When it comes to sex, we all want to feel lusted after.
We want to feel deeply wanted and desired, and that thoughts of our bodies are what keep our partners up at night while they wait for their next opportunity to ravish us. We don't want sex to feel robotic, like we're just going through the motions; we want sex to be hot.
There's no better way to do it than to incorporate a little dirty talk.
Ranging everywhere from an innocent "that feels so good," to Christian Grey's "I'm going to f*ck you now... hard," dirty talk is the ultimate way to improve the quality of your sex life.
Of course, much of sex is about the physical sensations, but it's easy to forget to incorporate other factors to make those physical sensations even better.
So, find your inner sexual deviant, release your inhibitions, and ignore whatever your middle school health teacher told you about the dangers of "sexting."
You're an adult now, and part of being an adult is discovering new things to make you feel good, without any shame in doing so. Dirty talk should be a crucial step on that journey. Here's why.
1. You can communicate what makes you feel good.
Communication is the key to good sex. And instead of having a drawn-out, sit-down conversation outside the bedroom about how you love it when your girlfriend uses a lot of tongue when she blows you, it's way hotter to tell her while she's actually doing it.
For example, while she's down there, a simple "it feels amazing when you do that" is enough for her to know she should definitely keep it up. It's an efficient, effective way to communicate what you want in the bedroom without the hassle of having a capital-C Conversation about it.
2. Your connection will get stronger.
At first, dirty talk might be a little uncomfortable, as any kind of new sexual endeavor might be. But soon, those feelings will disappear, and you will feel your connection to your partner strengthen.
After all, there's truly nothing like embarking on something potentially embarrassing with someone you love to cultivate completely new levels of trust.
3. It reignites the flame.
If you've been dating for a long time, it's natural for the infatuation flame to flicker. Those initial lusty feelings you had in the beginning of your relationship won't last forever without a little work.
A great way to fix this is to spice up your sex life. If you're feeling like your sex life is in a a rut, varying it up in the bedroom with some dirty talk might be exactly what you need.
Hey, it's way cheaper than buying a toy or vibrator.
4. It's versatile.
Dirty talk isn't just reserved for the bedroom. While your boyfriend is at work, text him raunchy pictures and dirty thoughts about what you want to do to him later, and he won't be able to focus on anything but you.
The more you sext, the more the sexual tension between the two of you will increase throughout the day, until you both get home, and then... you know.
5. You'll feel sexier.
There's something super hot about uttering dirty words out loud, especially in the context of a bedroom. You'll feel more in control of your sexuality if you give yourself the freedom to say exactly what you want, exactly when you want it.
6. It brings out your inner dominatrix.
Forget whips, chains and weird, complicated leather straps if you're not ready. If you've ever fantasized about taking the lead in bed, using language is the easiest way to bring out your inner dominatrix.
Just telling your partner what you want to do to him or her puts you in control.
7. It inspires you to try other things.
If you can't run without walking, you definitely can't f*ck without talking -- and bringing your sex life to a new level with dirty talk will inspire you to try other, even sexier things in the bedroom, like new positions, toys, experimenting with food, and more.
Dirty talk is the perfect transition into the kinkier stuff.
8. It gives you confidence.
Trying something risky and potentially uncomfortable, like dirty talk, will make you feel super confident in other aspects of your life. Look at you, trying something new in a vulnerable place like the bedroom -- you can do anything now!
9. It relieves the performance pressure aspect of sex.
Being silent and keeping a poker face during sex is so boring. Your partner doesn't want to feel like you're uninterested in what he or she is doing to your genitals; it just creates a whole lot of performance anxiety.
If you dirty-talk during sex, your partner will know exactly what you like and don't like, which will relieve some of the performance anxiety and that pesky question: "Am I doing this right?"
When you give confirmation that what your partner is doing is working, everyone relaxes.
10. It heightens your experience of pleasure.
Simply thinking something feels good doesn't have as much of an impact on your sensations as saying it out loud will. When you verbalize what exactly feels good, the feeling becomes way more real.
11. It's another form of release.
You know the feeling when you desperately need to make noise when you orgasm, and if you can't, the orgasm just doesn't feel as fulfilling or relieving?
Well, dirty talk gives you another form of release. When you express how good you're feeling while you're feeling it, those feelings will be far more fulfilling than they would be if you kept quiet.