Some of our most beautiful love stories – the ones that form us and touch us deeper than we ever could imagine – come to an end. When this happens, we are left alone, forced to muster up the courage to piece ourselves together bit by bit. We attempt to move on.
Devastating breakups like these make us feel like every breath, every shower and every meal is a chore. But as unbearable as it seems while we experience it, life truly does go on post-heartbreak.
Usually, time and space allows us to heal, and we are left with hearts that are open to finding love again. We leave the past ex-lovers exactly where they belong: in the past.
However, with many of our friends, we've noticed that the guy simply doesn't disappear into the past like the others do. He lingers.
This is not just any guy. This guy was different. He was special. He was the guy for her.
He looked at her with more love than anyone else ever had before. This guy was a game changer. He gave her butterflies.
It's the kind of blind love that's only talked about in fairy tales. This guy taught her what love really is. He showed her what compromise and putting her needs before his felt like. These are the guys who not only shape the way a woman views relationships, but they also shape how she views herself in relationships.
This is a guy a woman could never imagine being without. That is, of course, until she is.
The wounds of this failed love will always stay fresh and raw. Since this guy is different, he hasn't slipped through the cracks into the mysteriousness of the past. He is always present in her mind and heart, even in his absence. He lingers somewhere in limbo, where he will likely be forever.
It is an undeniable fact that every girl in the world has at least one guy she feels this way about. A beautiful love that fails for whatever reason is impossible to forget.
She could be ridiculously happy dating someone else. Hell, she could even be married with kids. Yet, if she sees a picture of “that guy” or hears his name or current status, she gets a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Guys may never be able to comprehend why this is, and why women feel like this. That's OK.
However, other women are well aware of the emotions that surround “that guy.” They can always relate. We all have that one man from the past that we've identified as different from all the rest. We all just get it.
As scary as this thought probably is to our male counterparts – especially ones in happily committed relationships – let's dig a little deeper here to clue you all in. While women are wildly complicated creatures for you to understand, deep down, you know us.
We are emotional. We are illogical. We are possessive by nature. Above all, we love fiercely.
On the rare occasions when we open the most intimate parts of our hearts – which we normally protect and guard – we simply can't forget about the men who made it through our armor.
His mark is there forever. It isn't logical at all. But when it comes to matters of the heart, how realistic is it that we will be logical?
So, while logic and reason says we “shouldn't” care, we “shouldn't” think about him and we “shouldn't” hope he will remain single forever, it doesn't matter in our mind. We can never be rational about our guys from the past.
This article might not even help to explain it to you guys. But if there's one thing we can say, it's this: If you're with a girl now, she likely has a “guy” from her past who makes her feel this way. This fact shouldn't scare you or make you feel insecure in your relationship.
It should tell you that you've found someone who is open to a love that can change her. You've found someone who believes in the good in people. You've found someone who will let herself fall blindly in love, if you're worth it.
So, to all women: We feel you about your “guy.” You're not alone.
Maybe he still thinks about you too. Maybe he doesn't.
But either way, cherish him. Although it might hurt to even think about him, be grateful for the part he played in your life and heart.
You experienced a love that truly touched your heart and changed you. You met a man who taught you how to love, and who showed you what you can bring to a relationship.
Although your “guy” likely caused you more heartache than anyone else ever will, know that this has just proven that you're capable of loving fiercely. You might have had your heart broken, but you experienced the rare gift of love. That fact is too beautiful to look at in a negative light.