When people cheat, they have absolutely no idea what implications it can have on their SO's life.
When you cheat on someone, you take away that person's ability to trust. You instill a fear of intimacy. You have the potential to completely destroy someone. It's the most selfish thing you can do.
As someone who has been cheated on by a person who I believed to be the love of my life, I can tell you firsthand that it REALLY sucks. I never thought I'd be able to open up to anyone again. It seriously fucks you up.
I recently met the most amazing man and had to explain to him why I am the way I am. Like any other good guy, he understands, and I am so grateful for him. So, here are some things to keep in mind when you are seeing a girl that has been cheated on:
1. We are not crazy; we're scared.
We have been through it all, and if we are sensitive to a pretty girl liking your picture or you not responding to our texts, please understand that it's because of our past.
2. We built walls to keep the wrong people out.
And it's your job to climb them.
We have learned our lesson, and we are very selective about whom we give our heart to.
3. We need actions, not words.
We have been sweet talked until our ears bled. We have been told everything that we wanted to hear, but no results were produced. We need you to SHOW us that you care, not just say it.
4. We're not heartless; we're just careful.
Our patience for bullshit has been reduced from slim to none. We have learned to be on our own and to crawl out of the hole that our exes left us in, and we're not about to go into another one.
5. We want to say "I love you"; we just have a hard time saying it.
We so badly want to say it back, but we stumble because the last time we said it and fell, no one caught us.
We built walls to keep the wrong people out. And it's your job to climb them.
6. We will never be OK if you're "just friends" with multiple girls.
No, sorry. No. Call me controlling, but I don't want my man around multiple women who comment and like every single one of his pictures.
7. We need PDA.
We have dated men who have tried to hide the fact that they were in a relationship so they can creep, and we need you to be proud to be with us in public.
8. We need you to defend us and be by our side.
Our exes left us high and dry at times, and we need you to be our number one supporter.
9. Once you lie to us once, you're screwed.
It doesn't matter if you lied about walking the dog. If you lie to us once, we will probably never be able to trust you again. We have had our fair share of liars in our lives and do not need any more.
10. We can live without you.
We aren't needy. We have lost men who we have truly loved, and we are just fine with being on our own. We had to get over devastating circumstances, and we are strong and independent.
So guys, please keep all of these in mind when you date a woman who has been lied to, manipulated and cheated on. We are like deers in the headlights, and it's your job not to run us over with your car.