Why Dating An Older Man Has Nothing To Do With Age

by Selina Almodovar

What does society say when it comes to dating an older man?

Forget about society, what does your mom say?! Whatever she says, it's probably completely different than what your friends are saying.

So, what is the right thing to do when it comes to older men?

We hear it all the time: Age ain't nothing but a number. But, we also hear that you shouldn’t be dating someone who is extremely older than you.

So, what’s the right answer when it comes to this dilemma?

In reality, it all boils down to one thing, and it has nothing to do with the number. It comes down to maturity.

Are you mature enough to handle an older man? Is he mature enough to get serious with you?

Men and women have completely different hormones. We experience adolescence at different stages of our lives.

Because of this, our maturity levels are also different during different stages of life.

Let’s take a look at what some of those maturity levels look like according to different age groups:

Ages 18-24: Both men and women are looking to find instant gratification.

Though both are looking for the same thing, they are looking for it in different places, so things can get a bit tricky.

Most men are looking for “instant gratification” on a physical level. In other words, you are more likely to find a man in this age group who is looking to have more of a physical relationship with you.

Most women tend to look for “instant gratification” on an emotional level. After watching dozens of teenage romantic comedies, reading love stories and singing their favorite love songs, they tend to want to get involved with an older man who is willing and able to provide that kind of love.

Not just "The Notebook" kind of love, but they also want to feel protected, secure and taken care of… all things older men should be capable of handling.

Ages 25-29: Both men and women are about the same in terms of maturity at this point.

But again, their focuses may be on different things. Usually, when someone reaches his or her mid to late 20s, he or she is focused on establishing him or herself, whether that means climbing up the corporate ladder, traveling the world or building credit scores.

Typically speaking, these folks are finally getting to do all the things they could not do on a college budget.

Whether your man decides it’s time to get serious or tells you he is nowhere near ready to settle down, you need to know if you are mature enough to handle that and be okay with it.

Ages 30 and beyond: Men and women in this category are pretty set in who they are and what they want.

Dating someone in his or her 30s is likely to be crystal clear; both parties should be able to identify whether they’re looking to settle or are only looking to have fun.

Their intentions are clear and they will let you know upfront. There is minimal guessing at this stage of life because they have nothing to hide and are too grown to play games.

If you are looking to date someone in this age range, understand that what he or she says is likely representative of what he or she means. Don’t try to “change” someone because it won’t be pretty.

In order to date someone older, you have to consider where you currently are in your dating lifestyle and where you want to be.

Be clear that you know what you want in a relationship, and make it clear to your potential date so you are both on the same page.

If you avoid this step, someone may end up getting hurt in the event things get serious.

For women who want to date younger men:

Hey there, cougars! If you’re looking to date younger men, consider where you were physically and emotionally at their age.

Keep that in mind when you start to fall for your younger man and want to get serious.

He might not always feel the same way as you, so guard your heart and be sure you both agree to the expectations of the relationship before moving forward.

Yes, age is nothing but a number. And yes, there are couples who do great despite a huge age gap between them.

This comes from lots of time spent with each other and lots of understanding of where each person stands.

Do not get hot, heavy and serious with someone — older or younger — until you are clear on what you’re looking for and know that they want the same thing in return.

At the end of the day, be true to yourself and keep things up front.

If Jay-Z and Beyoncé can do it, then best of luck to you and yours!