Nothing Good Comes Easy: Why You Should Date The Jaded Girl

by Paul Hudson

You don’t want to date someone who's inexperienced in romance.

Yes, this is easier said than done -- especially when you're compatible with this person. Meeting someone who you think has potential is rare enough these days as it is, so you won't want to factor in your levels of experience.

But maybe you should. You want to give love a chance whenever you feel like it could bloom. But the truth is that dating someone who is inexperienced makes your chances very slim.

The problem with people who are experienced romancers, however, is that most of them are pretty jaded. Experience requires practice, and this sort of practice leaves you with baggage.

Experience means understanding what you want, what you need, what you're willing to compromise, and what it takes to make a relationship work. After you've figured all this out, your will to try again doesn't always exist.

You can only be so optimistic before you get tired of it all. You're tired of trying. You're tired of getting hurt. You're tired of being unappreciated and giving your all, only to realize that your partner isn't in it for the long haul.

The game of love will burn you out if you always give but never receive.

To make it worse, jaded people get a bad rap. They come off as bored, uninterested and unenthused. They can be difficult to approach because they look like they don't want to talk to you.

And you’re right; they probably don’t. They expect to hear the same old bullsh*t from you as they've heard from everyone else.

Personally, I look for a bit of jadedness in a woman. I respect a woman who knows enough about love and relationships not to be too eager to hop into the next one. She plans on making her next relationship the one that lasts forever.

There are plenty of reasons to date the jaded girl. Here are a few.

Convincing her to give you a try may be difficult, but it's not impossible.

She won’t be eager to open herself up and make herself vulnerable again. She’s done it plenty of times in the past, and it’s always ended badly, however, she still wants love in her life.

Just like you, she still wants to find her soulmate. She’s waiting for the guy who will put in the time to prove that he isn’t here for just a quickie.

Put in the effort, and you will be happy you did.

She’s lived through enough bullsh*t on her own, so she plans on leaving it out of her next relationship.

She won’t start fights for no apparent reason. She won’t give you the silent treatment and fail to explain why she's mad. She’s an adult, and she'll use her words to communicate if she's uncomfortable.

She’s not here to play games. She expects you to be on her team. Otherwise, she won’t stick around. She won’t start bullsh*t, but she won’t take it from you, either.

She does have baggage, but she wants you to help her unpack it.

She’s been through a lot. She has both good memories and bad ones -- ones that are tinged with hurt and sadness. She may find it difficult to trust you, but that’s the point of a relationship: It's about giving her reason to trust you.

She wants to let go of her past and move on with her life. And if she likes you enough, she may keep you at her side.

She understands love is more than the emotions we experience.

She’s been in love before -- the head-over-heels kind.

She wanted nothing more than to spend her life with him. But it didn’t work. The relationship failed, and he left her brokenhearted.

She was confused for quite some time. She didn't understand how it was possible to have felt so much but been so wrong. She had no choice but to conclude that emotions didn't do the best job at indicating who was right for her.

Though she wants you to sweep her off her feet, she understands there's more to it than that.

It may be hard for her to fall in love again. But when she does fall, it will be fully and completely.

It won’t be easy for you to break through her shell. She’s built a fortress around her jaded self, but she wants nothing more than to let down the gates.

After each relationship, she's learned more about what kind of guy she wants to date. Now she’s found you, and if you manage to win over her heart, she’ll be yours for as long as you continue to love her.

She already knows you each need your own space.

She may want to spend every waking moment with you, but she knows better than to smother you. She knows that you both need your space.

She knows you may not need it right now -- when you're still in your honeymoon phase -- but that you will in the future.

She won’t hassle you about wanting to spend a night with your boys instead of taking her to dinner. And because she’s so understanding, you’re only going to love her more.

She'll be loyal until the end.

She isn’t looking for another stepping stone in her love life. She’s looking for something that will stick.

And because she's messed up so much in the past and dated countless guys who treated her poorly, she's not going to mess this one up. She wants someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated -- like a warrior princess.

As long as you love her in return, she will love you until the day you die.

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