Dimitrije Tanaskovic

39 Things That Make You Batsh*t Crazy When You're Dating Someone New

I have recently come to the conclusion that even the most sane people I know turn into absolutely batsh*t lunatics when it comes to having real, bonafide romantic feelings for another person.

Liking someone makes us crazy. It also makes us irrational. People who are otherwise totally and completely emotionally stable find themselves calling everyone they know in a desperate panic over someone who was a stranger not long ago.

But WHAT is it about the dating game in particular that is making us all so batsh*t? I think it's the uncertainty. We don't know where things are going. And when we really like someone, we want things to work out. And our hope that things will work out becomes a dread. And that dread spirals into an over-analyzation of every single one of that person's actions as a possible sign of impending doom.

He's texting you too much? He's probably TOO into you — this can only last so long. She's not texting you enough? She's too busy boning someone else right at this very moment! He doesn't play any games? WHY IS HE SO BORING?! (But I also love the stability.) She plays too many games? WHY IS SHE SO IMMATURE?! (But I also love the chase.) I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there's no winning. There is no right play. There is no one way to win over the person you are currently dating, because literally everything you do has the potential to drive you BATSH*T. Here are some examples.

1. When the person you're dating is texting you too much.

2. When the person you're dating is not texting you at all.

3. When the person you're dating only texts and never calls.

4. When the person you're dating calls and never texts.

5. When the person you're dating spends too much time talking about feelings.

6. When the person you're dating doesn't take enough time to talk about feelings.

7. When the person you're dating is obsessed with his or her family.

8. When it feels like the person you're dating doesn't have enough of a relationship with his or her family.

9. When the person you're dating wants to hang out all the time.

10. When the person you're dating doesn't want to hang out enough.

11. When the person you're dating likes all of your pictures.

12. When the person you're dating doesn't like any of your pictures.

13. When the person you're dating posts too many pictures with you.

14. When the person you're dating doesn't post any pictures with you.

15. When the person you're dating doesn't play any games.

16. When the person you're dating plays too many games.

17. When the person you're dating always offers to pay for dinner.

18. When the person you're dating never offers to pay at dinner.

19. When the person you're dating is too noisy in bed.

20. When the person you're dating is too quiet in bed.

21. When the person you're dating wants to be exclusive.

22. When the person you're dating wants to keep it casual.

23. When the person you're dating wants to introduce you to the family.

24. When the person you're dating doesn't introduce you to the family.

25. When the person you're dating works too much.

26. When the person you're dating doesn't work enough.

27. When the person you're dating agrees too much with everything you say.

28. When the person you're dating fights with you on everything you have to say.

29. When the person you're dating is too much of a planner.

30. When the person you're dating can never commit to a plan.

31. When the person you're dating has too many friends.

32. When the person you're dating doesn't have enough friends.

33. When the person you're dating is too similar to you.

34. When the person you're dating doesn't have enough in common with you.

35. When the person you're dating doesn't make enough of an effort with your friends.

36. When the person you're dating is way too close to your friends.

37. When the person you're dating is too jealous all the time.

38. When the person you're dating never gets jealous about anything.

39. When the person you're dating exists.