Couples Admit Why They Went To Therapy Pre-Marriage
Hitting up a therapist isn't just something you can do when life feels extremely "blah" and you need a pair of ears to talk it out to.
It can actually be something you add to your to-do list just because you want to get a different perspective on your life and the way you are deep down.
The same thing goes for couples therapy.
While it may seem like it only makes sense to go when your relationship has taken a turn for the worst, it can also be something you do because you want to keep things strong and avoid any future problems that could potentially pop up.
Check out why these seven couples decided to go to therapy together before they got married — and why they swear by it:
1. Plan ahead.
My parents got divorced when I was younger, so I always had my doubts about marriage. I wanted us to go to therapy regularly just to make sure everything was OK. Plus, it was good to establish a relationship with a therapist before you desperately need one.
— Nikki D., 29
2. Figure out how to fight.
I think all couples should go to therapy before getting married because there is a right way and a wrong way to fight. My wife and I were fighting the wrong way. We'd get mad and not talk to each other for days or a week. We'd argue and scream so loudly at each other. Every couple fights, but it needs to be constructive. Therapy helped us with that, and we started off our marriage with new, calm ways to discuss things we were upset about.
— Brendan M., 34
3. Talk about a pre-nup.
I needed to get a pre-nup because I had a lot of money in the bank from a business I sold when I was in my early 20s. That convo was awkward, so after I brought it up, we decided to go to therapy, so we could talk through why I wanted to do this and so she didn't think it was because I doubted our relationship.
— Lane W., 31
4. Be open and honest.
We wanted a sounding board to whom we could admit any and all fears we had about getting married. Our sex life wasn't wonderful, and sometimes, we didn't communicate so well. We figured, by having someone help us with these things, we wouldn't attack each other by bringing up the problems randomly before marriage.
— Ashton S., 29
5. Solve some old problems.
There were some trust problems between my husband and me before we got married. He did cheat on me once when we were dating early on, and I guess I was never able to forgive him. We did therapy because we wanted to enter our marriage without bringing our old problems along. It was a good idea. I don't think I entirely trust him now, but therapy has been helping me with this. I need it, and so does he.
— Roxy D., 31
6. See if marriage is right.
I was dating my husband for just a year when he proposed. Everyone told us we were kind of crazy for getting married. We got along pretty well, but there were annoying things each of us did. We went to therapy together to see if we could get insight on whether or not marriage was a good next step. We learned through the process that we were rushing things, so we ended up putting the engagement on hold for a year. I think it was best that we didn't rush things and instead had another year of just dating.
— Mallory V., 28
7. Be aware of warning signs.
My wife and I went to couples therapy pre-wedding just to see if there were any warning signs we should be aware of. We wanted to know what to look out for in our marriage, so we'd know what kinds of issues to expect along the way. Both our parents are divorced, and we wanted to try hard to have a successful, long marriage, so we wanted to talk to someone about anything we should look out for to diffuse fires before they hit us in the face.
— Corey D., 31